#LMFAO PLEASEEEEEE 😭
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cassmouse · 5 months ago
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DUDE IM SO SCARED IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT NONSTOP FOR ABOUT SEVENTY HOURS STRAIGHT 😭
Cast list for the school show comes out tomorrow 😭
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sturnsslut · 9 months ago
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better - matt sturniolo
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a/n - this is a filler until i’m done with my chris smut 😔. i’m sorry there’s a lot of yapping but the backstory matters !
contains - soft dom!matt x sub!reader, fighting (barley), unprotected sex, mirror sex, praise, fingering, begging, oral
summary - reader and matt make a bet !
————————————————————————————
‘ i seen your love, you got me baby ‘
it was a friday night and my boyfriend had just canceled on me last minute for the 3rd time this week. i was literally all dressed up, waiting for him to come and pick me up. i sighed when i read his message saying that he " had something come up "
bullshit.
i had a feeling he had been cheating on me for a while, but i didn't have any solid proof so i just stayed quiet. i was about to get into my pajamas when i got a text from nick saying how theyre having a party at their house tonight , and how matt would pick me up.
nick 💗
HEY
we're having a party tn
can you come
pleaseeeeee
matt can pick you up
i feel like i haven't seen you in forever
you
nick it's been 4 days 😭
but i mean
let me see
i pulled out my phone to text liam, my boyfriend . i had to make sure that we really weren't going out , so i was just double checking.
liam
Can't go
Something came up
you
bro what ??
im literally ready
why tf is this just now being brought up
liam
I don't know what you want me to do lmfao
you
im going to nicks party then
liam
Says who?
Your staying at the house
you
why are you being weird 💀
yes i am
lmfao ok dad
liam
That fucking matt kid
Your always looking at him
And he looks at you like he's
in love or some shit so no your not going
you
bro
u can't be serious
i never look at him
liam
K well
i don't want you close enough to him
so that there's even a chance something could happen
you
k.
read 10:39 pm
i laughed and rolled my eyes, he really thinks he's in control of me...i scrolled back to nicks contact and texted him
you
come get me 😝
nick
YAYYYY
we're like 5 mins away
can we come in so i can say hi to ur cat
you
omfg 😭 yea
im ready anyways cause
ofc my bf cancelled on me again
nick
girl.
you can do better
i feel like everyone knows
he's cheating on you...
you
yea me to
i just don't have any proof yet
anyways lmk when ur here
nick
okay
we're like abt to pull up
you
doors unlocked 😛
i waited until i saw their van in my driveway, and opened the door watching them walk up to my porch
immediately hugged nick and chris, but i just smiled at matt and he returned the gesture.
there had always been something, weird between me and matt. it wasn't friendship, but it wasn't hate either. it was weird.
i led nick to my room and picked up my cat, kiko, handing her to him
i walked out of my room to see chris sitting on the couch and matt just leaning against the door on his phone, like he couldn't wait to leave.
“uh you know you can sit down matt...” i said awkwardly, causing him to look up from his phone and just respond with “i know”
i shrugged it off and went back to my room where i'd left nick, and asked him what he thought of my outfit.
i asked him if he thought it was ' too formal ' for a party since it was originally an outfit for my date.
i was wearing a short black dress with spaghetti straps, my hair down and some light makeup
“girl you look hot. don't change” i smiled and went to the bathroom to touch up my makeup a little, once i was done i grabbed my bag and asked nick if we're ready to go “you ready?” i questioned, putting my bag on my arm
“yeah let's go” he said before saying bye to kiko and putting her down
“come on guys” nick said walking out of my room, resulting in everyone making their way to the door.
once we got into the van i was in the back , with nick while chris and matt were up front obviously. on the way there, i just had the urge to look up from my phone
i looked up and caught matt starring at me through the rearview mirror, he immediately looked away once he saw me though.
we eventually got to the triplets house and it was already packed. we all got out of the van and while we were making our way to the door, i asked nick “you let all these people here without you guys home?”
“yeah, justin and nate are here so it should be fine.”
i hummed in response and walked behind nick and chris, with matt behind me for some reason.
nate opened the door and dapped up matt after i walked in, and i heard him say “hot date bro”
“she's not my date” matt replied sounding slightly annoyed. nate raised a brow in confusion
“then…why..were you walking behind her? and starring at her ass, like, the entire time you were walking up…me and justin literally saw you through the window.”
i turned my head around for a quick second to see matt shushing nate and punching him (sort of) playfully on the shoulder
i felt my cheeks heat up, but why? why did i care how matt was looking at me? whatever.
i made my way to the kitchen where nick and chris were, we just gossiped about random shit.
nick was talking to chris and while i waited for my turn to speak, i looked around and saw...my boyfriend? what? he said he had an emergency?
and of course, he was making out with some skanky bitch from my school who knew we'd been dating.
i told nick i'll be right back and made my way over.
“fuck you. family emergency?? your fucking unbelievable.” i shoved him then faced the girl “and bitch as for you, he's gonna do the same shit hes doing to me right now. you aren't gonna fucking last.”
he looked totally wasted and was slurring his words, but i heard him say “you were just a good fuck. get over it.”
i looked at him in disbelief for a moment before i said something back “can't say the same for you. you have a small dick.” and with that, i walked off.
tons of people were starring at me of course, but i was too mad to even care. i made my way to the bathroom to calm down, before i heard a knock on the door.
“what the fuck do you want” i blurted out without even thinking who it could be.
“um..it's matt, can i come in?” i instantly covered my mouth feeling bad about how i had spoken to him
i unlocked the door and opened it, letting him in. “i'm sorry. i didn't know who it was” i apologized
“no no, it's okay. i just wanted to check on you and see if your okay.”
i sighed and sat down on the toilet seat while he leaned against the wall in front of the mirror
“i mean..not really, just pissed at how much time and energy i wasted on him.”
he stayed silent and didn't say anything, waiting for me to finish what i was saying “i knew he was cheating but i didn't wanna believe it, i feel fucking stupid” i continued
“your not stupid” he shrugged and continued “he's stupid for loosing someone like you.” i thanked him and sighed, resting my head in my hands
“and…if he has a small dick he's nothing to cry over” he smiled
i laughed, “he wasn't even good in bed either oh my god.” i added and laughed
"really?” matt turned his head to look at me, furrowing his brows for a second and smiling, while crossing his arms
“yeah. sorry if this is too much but like..i never finished when i was with him” i giggled at the embarrassing confession
he laughed and paused for a moment before saying “you would if you were with me”
i giggled thinking he was joking, and replied with “doubt it”
matt raised his eyebrows and locked the door, “wanna bet?”
that's when i realized he wasn't joking, i stood up and leaned against the sink infront of him " how much " i smirked at him
“ $50. i know how to use my hands, mouth, and dick. im confident i could make you cum, that's a promise.”
“fine, prove it then” i said nodding my head
“don't start shit you can't finish. im serious.” he said looking me in my eyes
“so am i, i wanna see if you can put your money where your mouth is”
“ y/n ,” he said smiling and shaking his head , leaning into me, resting one of his hands on the sink
“matt.” i responded teasingly
he grabbed my hand and placed it onto his dick, making me feel his giant boner
“you see what your doing to me? i will fuck you until you can't even remember his name.”
“do it then” i smirked, ' he's all talk ' is what i was thinking, until he firmly placed his lips on mine
it was quick to turn sloppy, he picked me up and set me on the edge of the sink so i was perfectly aligned with his dick
he started making his way down slowly by leaving hickeys all down my neck, i wrapped my fingers in his hair and tugged it slightly, but not too hard
that's when he lifted up my dress and placed one of his hands on my waist, while the other rubbed my clit through my underwear
he was looking me in my face but i was so needy for more of him, that i couldn't even look him in the eyes.
“what? you can't take it anymore?” he smirked at me, still making eye contact and then inching his hand fully down my panties sticking two fingers inside me
(guys i giggled at panties but i didn't know what other word to use)
i bit my lip slightly taking a deep breath in at the amount of pleasure i was in. even tho all he did was tease me, it felt amazing. like he had this power over me.
he started moving his fingers slow, but picked up the pace fast. i threw my head back in pleasure, while my hands grabbed at his shoulders.
fuck. maybe he could make me cum after all .
as good as it felt, i needed a break because if he fingered me for any longer, i would've lost $50.
i grabbed his hand and pulled it away and hopped off of the counter, immediately getting on my knees
i began to unzip his pants when he suddenly stops me and grabs my chin, raising my head and making me look at him
“i don't know if your ready..” he said looking at me with a smirk
i rolled my eyes smiling slightly, and continued undoing his pants "okay..." he answered, throwing his hands up in surrender
i pulled his pants down to his ankles and then looked up to see his boxers, and i could obviously see his giant print
i pulled down his boxers , revealing an easy 9 inches. i started at it for a few seconds before shrugging and shoving in 6 inches or so
as i switched between my hands and my mouth, i swirled my tongue around his tip causing him to let out a low groan
“shit ..” he threw his head back in pleasure and grabbed a fistful of my hair, pushing himself further into my mouth
i felt it in the back of my throat. i heard him mumbling all types of swear words, and at that point he's basically just fucking my throat
“how was that” say standing up to face him, smirking up at him still catching my breath
“your really good” he smirked at me, before picking me up and setting me back on the sink again “your turn”
he pulls out of the kiss and bends down slightly, resting his hands on my inner thighs, spreading my legs a little
“let me do this for you, all you need to do is hold your legs up. but if you can't handle it, just put em on my shoulders, okay?” he says looking me in my eyes, all i could do at that point was just nod eagerly, hopefully showing how bad i needed him.
and with that, he starts to go down on me. i arched my back unintentionally, i don't know what came over me, but i couldn't help myself. it just felt like he belonged there
this man wasn't lying when said he knows how to make a girl beg, not even close to a lie.
i grabbed a handful of his hair and arched my back again when i felt him start to suck on my clit
i slapped my hand over my mouth, remembering how there's other people around.
he took his hand off of my thigh and removed my own hand from my mouth, “don't cover your mouth sweetheart. i wanna know if im doing good”
i shook my head in agreement and grabbed the back of his shirt, needing some sort of support
i can't explain it, but i swear i felt him smirk when i grabbed him, like he knew he was pleasing me so good.
i never knew i needed him, but i do now. his tongue felt so good on me, it just felt right.
i moaned slightly louder than before “shit…” i threw my head back and bit my lip slightly
i started whimpering out of pleasure trying to catch my breath, his tongue was going everywhere and somehow he made every spot feel amazing .
i felt myself get close, but i needed to feel him inside of me. “wait wait wait” i mumbled trying to catch my breath
“what is it baby?” he said looking up at me “ i…fuck hold on.” said panting
“ i want you to fuck me , please matt.” i said in between breaths
“how bad?” he said smirking at me and looking me in my eyes, “tell me how bad you want me.”
“i need you so bad, please” i pleaded, i just wanted him in me and nothing else, him and him only is all i needed.
“good girl.” and with that, he fully stood up and grabbed his dick
he held his tip up to my entrance, running his head up and down my folds causing whimpers to leave both of our mouths. he knowing how bad he was teasing me, but this man was rock hard.
“matt, i want you to fuck me and i know you do to , stop teasing please” i was literally begging this man to just destroy me
he shrugged “i'll try not to stretch you out too much sweetheart.” and with that, he pushed himself inside me without warning, and wow i wasn't ready.
it's like i was so horny i forgot how big he was.
he shoved all of his length inside me , all 9 inches. i cried out in pleasure
he placed his hands on my waist so he could go deeper and guide me , “oh fuck” i muttered and immediately clamped my eyes shut
that's when i felt matt's hand on my chin, making me look at him. “look at me, i wanna see how good i make you feel . do i make you feel good, pretty?”
“mhm” i whimpered and shook my head because i couldn't even speak.
“use your words baby. do i?” he spoke firmly, still not breaking eye contact
“yes, yes you make me feel good” i mumbled
“good.” he spoke in a fierce tone as his tip hit my g-spot perfectly each time, making me throw my head back
i heard him say “hey baby, you wanna take off that dress?” he suggested
i nodded while he pulled out and i hopped off of the sink, slipping my dress off
i looked over at matt who was literally starring down my body, “what?” giggled getting flustered
“nothing…you just amaze me. your body is so perfect” he said, still starring me down
i laughed and rolled my eyes and asked if he was ready again, “for you, always. are you?” he emphasized
i bent over the sink and replied “obviously.” he snickered and grabbed my hips, making sure he was perfectly aligned.
i felt him pound himself into me, which, i again for some reason still wasn't used to how big he is.
i had my hands on the sink for support, and when he put himself inside me, i put my head down because it felt so good
that's when i felt matt's hand on my chin again and lifted up my head , looking at me through the mirror.
“uh uh. i want you to see how good your taking me.”
i nodded looking at him in the mirror
i watch him look down and smile while furrowing his brows
“you didn't tell me you had a back tattoo baby . it looks good”
“you never ..” i paused as i struggled to get my words out “shit!...asked me” i whined, almost too loudly
“fair enough ..oh fuck” he threw his head back and his thrusting started to get more aggressive
his hand crept up to my neck, placing a firm grip on my neck which sent me over the edge
“matt..baby i can't do it” i said shaking my head while looking at him in the mirror
“yes you can, take it like you said you would.” i nodded and did as he told me
i suddenly felt that knot in my stomach, so i reached behind me and grabbed matts hand from my waist and put it on the sink so that his hand was over mine, and we interlocked our fingers
“you alright? are you gonna cum already? come on, your too easy to please baby .” he asked in a teasing tone, looking at me and smirking
like of course i was. and he obviously knew, he just thought that it was funny to tease me.
“fuck ..matt im gonna-“ i was cut off by me releasing onto his dick, “oh shit” said looking down, i was relieved that a man had actually made me finish, but now i needed to give matt $50 i didn't have ...
“good job baby, you did great” he was literally panting at this point. i could tell was close, just trying not to show it.
i decided to tease a little and see how long he could last.
“you make me feel so good baby” i said looking at him in the mirror
“thats g..fuck” he threw his head back and starting thrusting harder
“you look so good from here” i teased a little more since he thinks when he does it, it's hilarious. i saw him open this mouth to say something but instead just bite the side of his cheek and stay quiet
“i don't care how long it takes you baby, my body is all yours.”
“fuck .. mm oh shit ...in or out”
without answering, i got on my knees and began to jerk him off to his release while looking up at him
“oh shit. fuck..fuck” he lets out a huge loud of cum and i swallow, i dont need a mess.
i get back up and try my best to fix my hair while looking at myself in the mirror, while matt's leaning against the wall panting
i pickup my shoes without even bothering to put them back on , i just re-adjust my dress and forget about everything else.
my hair is all out of place, my lipstick is smeared, my mascara running down my face..i was a mess. but it was totally worth it.
i sit on the toilet seat while matt puts his pants back on.
“i don't need the $50.” matt said suddenly smiling at me, “you ready? you still look good by the way.”
“whatever. let's go” i laughed and rolled my eyes, opening the door
“liam's gonna be so pissed.” i laughed looking back at matt
“i know” he smiled “can't wait to see the look on his face.”
i giggled as we made our way over to liam, who was making out with a different girl.
we stood infront of him and looked at eachother laughing, and as soon as we did we opened his eyes and looked like he'd just seen a ghost
“hi” i said in a teasing voice, tilting my head while doing so
“what the fuck?” he looked back at me and matt in confusion, furrowing his brows like he didn't know what was going on.
“yea so you were kinda right about me and matt ...” i said trying not to burst out laughing
“you fucking whore!” he yelled, gaining the attention of tons of people. they started recording the situation because of how loud he was. “i knew you were cheating on me you slimy little b-“ he got cut off as he got sent to the floor.
matt had punched him.
i covered my mouth in shock but also resisting the urge to not laugh “your...” liam paused , feeling his nose as it gushed blood everywhere “dead.” he continued
“okay, well it's kinda hard to take that threat serious when your on ground”
everybody around us started laughing, apparently nobody liked liam , but it's obvious why.
“your not a real man! y-“ i cut him off before he could finish his sentence, “well he fucks like one. get up and get over it. truth hurts.”
i pat his shoulder and flashed him a faux sympathy smile, before he swatted my hand away causing me to laugh
we walked over to chris and nick who were recording everything on their phones “hey uh, are you guys ready to pack this up?” matt asked them
“yup, i'll get nate and justin to get everyone out.” nick said as he walked away
“dude what the fuck ...” chris giggled as he looked at me and matt " i fucking knew it! nick owes me $20".
“you..made a bet?” i asked, confused
“fuck yea we did” he replied stuffing his mouth with food before walking off
“so like..do you wanna be my girlfriend...or whatever” matt asked me, looking down at the ground
“duh.” smiled and kissed him before going to find nick so i could help clean the mess up
“we're literally never having a party again.” nick complained as we all shoved trash into trash bags
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a/n - um lmk if you wanna be on my tag list 🤗.
@mattssluttygf
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r4e-ra3 · 8 days ago
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HA! found you
I saw your sister talk about you alot so I HAD to drop in and introduce myself !!
ALSO! TELL YOUR LITTLE PET mammon TO STOP SWIPING EXPENSIVE THINGS FROM MY DAD PLEASEEEEEE HES SO MAD😭
WHOAA
You're Satan's kid right?? Lilitu! Rado told me about you!!
She said you reminded her of her past self lmaooo
"Pet" HELP LMFAO @devildomsnumberonescammer YOUR NIECE JUST CALLED YOU MY PET???
And stop selling Satan's stuff 💀🙏
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mangoposts · 1 year ago
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Can you explain the time you met Colby Brock and Jake Webber pleaseeeeee I’ve asked before but I think I got lost in the sauce (As you’d say) I just know they thought u were so fine 😭
Yes! I’m sorry i didn’t reply before you definitely got lost in the sauce 😔
I met Colby bc i was standing directly next to him at a really intimate concert with like maybe 30/40 people there (It was his friends concert/acoustic session) At some like outdoor lounge type of place behind a mall. i was legitimately standing next to him for like an hour but i didn’t bother him until it was nearly over lol
I’ve literally watched sam and colby longer than anybody in this world, like since i was 13 and im 20 now Lmfaoooo so i was tweaking but he was sooooo nice and so hot 😭
Before i talked to him i was lowkey just staring a lil bit (I had sunglasses on my head so i would put them on just to check him out) And he noticed and smiled at me so i took that as my opportunity and let it rip lmfao I told him i liked his vids and he was rlly sweeet he gave me a hug before he said bye and when i told him ive been watching him and sam for so long he made a really cute noise 😭Like aeeeehhkkk Lmfaooaoaoo i miss him EVERY DAY
i met Jake at the glendale galleria (A Mall) Like a yearrrr ago maybe two years ago and he was reallyyyy tall like a foot taller than me 😭 he was filming something so i didn’t want to bother him i just told him i liked his videos and he let me get a pic. After he took it he told me he liked my lip colour and i told him i wasn’t wearing a lip colour and he’s like “Oh i know i just like it” but he was laughing Lmfaooooooo he was very sweet and very patient like wasn’t rushing at all they were both very niceeeeee Jake acts the same off camera Lmfao that’s all
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chososcamgirl · 5 months ago
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this one’s a long one.. heh… 😈 hope ur ready to hear me yap abt (mainly) toge 🤤‼️
HEYHEYHEY SIGMA ALPHA IYA OH MY GYATTT THE NEW CHAPTER WAS SO 🫣😍😩 HAD ME BARKING N SHIT.. THE SUKUNA PART??? HELLO??? I fear we may have fumbled… OK BUT LIKE IM SO HOOKED CANT WAIT FOR NEXT CHAPTER CUS I CAN ALREADY SMELLLLL THE TENSION3&33$3!3?3 THE TOGE PART… LITERALLY ON THE FLOOR. ALL 4.. ARR RT HTJRSTSHDTJJTDDTJDTJJDTTDJYDTJDTDJ WAKING UP RO A NEW CHALTER IS ALWAYS YHE BESTTTT I LIT JUST GOT UP SO NO DAILY YAP 😣😣 UGHHH UR PLAYLISTS ALWAYS FUCKING HIT IM LITERALLLY HAVING AN EARGASM RN 😩‼️🐺😈🔥 LIKE I SWEARRRRR IF SOUNDMATES WERE REAL WE WOULD B MATCHED 😈🔥‼️CUS I WONT ALLOW A STEPCEST INDULGER SLIDE IN MY DMS… UGHEBEBEJEBBE IM LITERALLY DROOLING 🤤 UR FEEEDING US GOOOOODDDD MGMTMMFPPHHHHH 😣🤤‼️😈 IM SO 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 FOR TOGE PLEASEEEEEE MATCH MY FREAAKKKKK MEOWOOOWWWWWWW… oh and uh… megumi’s there too ig… 😒😒 UGHH ANYWAY IM LITERALLLY FEINING RNNNN 🤤😩‼️🔥 I NEEEEEEEDDDDDDD A NEW CHAPTER ASAPPPPPEEKEJNENR ILY IYA THANK YOU FOR PROVIDING US WITH A FEASSSSSTTTTTTT IM LITERALLY IN FUCKING HEATTTT AURGHHHHHH ILYSM IYAAA ILL KILL U IF U DIE 👿👿 SUKUNA AS YNs EX IS SO PERFECT LIKE UGHHHH I LOVE HOW UR BRAIN WORKS WERE LITERALLY TELEPATHIC LIEK STOP MATCHING MY FREAKK SO WELLL UGHHH IM ALMOST THEREEE 😩 AND THE SOMF YOU CHOSE FOR THE TITLE?? UGHHHH ILYSMMMM SHES MY COLLAR IS LITERALLY MYYYY SHITTTTT OMGGGGG U MATCH MY 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴 SOOO WELLL IM SO DOWN BAD FOR TOGE PLEASEEEEEE… FOAMING AT THE MOUTH FOR HIMMMM ARGHHHH EVERYTHING ABT THE CHAPTER WAS BEYOND PERFECTION 🤤🙂‍↕️ARBRBRRBHRHRJSIEJE IM BARKINGGGGGGG FOR TOGE PLEASEEEEEE UGHHH THE COMPLIMENT AND THE HUG… DONT stop I’m SOOOOO CLOSEEEEE 😖😩🤤‼️… GIVE ME ONE CHANCE ILL LITERALLY START PRAYING AND SPIRITUALLY CONNECTING MYSELF SO HE NOTICES ME.. 😼😼
ANYWAYYS… HOW ARE YOU IYAAAAAA??? HOPE U ATE WELL AFTER FEEDING US SO GOOODDDDD ARBRBRBRBRJJEBE I LOVEEEE U SM I WANT TO CRAWL IN YOUR SKIN AND THRIVE IN YOUR BRAIN SO I GET EVERY SINGLE IDEA YOU HQVE FOR SJAPPPP I WAS WAITING FOR THE CHAPYET I FELL ASLEEP IN MY MAKEUP BUt ITS OKAY CUS I WOKE UP TO A NEW CHAPTERRR UGHHH I LIT LOVE U AND TOGE SMMMM FEINNINGGGG 🤤🤤🤤🤤 VRO MY RECENTLY USED EMOJIS ARE SOOO FREAKY BECAUSE OF THE NEW CHAPTER UGHH IDECCC IM SO CLOSEEEEEE.. OK IM GONNA GO TAKE OFF MY MAKEUP NOW 😣😔😭 BYE IYA SIGMAAA ILYSMMM IM GONNA FLY TO AUSTRALIA AND GIVE YOU THE WETEST KISSESSSS 🤤😩😍
- 🐺
HI ALPHA!!! 🐺🐺🐺
i just finished work!!! i was saving this to answer after incase i had a bad day at work (i didn’t) so DOUBLE YAY. let’s begin😈 LMFAOO im glad you like it! i was STRUGGLING to excecute my vision like it took a lot out of me to finish that chapter HELP but i’m happy with it and im glad it’s out now!! the tension was THICK let me tell u that. i loved the cliffhanger at the end bc i love edging yall 😏😏 LOL toge seems like a fan favourite along with sukuna now surprisingly. I WILL NOT DIE!! unless panda’s bounty changes to me… i’m WEAK😭 u r so funny alpha pls never die or ill have to kill off toge in honour of u💔
it’s always goddamn hot in there idk if that’s just me but i’m always HOT😭 work was okay i was just covering the lunch breaks and then i get to go home :3 i am eating rn actually! rice paper rolls mmmm. i will let u live in my brain🙂‍↕️ NOT U FALLUNG ASLEEP IN UR MAKEUP OMF THATS THW WORST FOR ME😭 LMFAO it’s bc UR freaky 🫵 yes i will greet u at the airport with balloons and a big sign saying “welcome home alpha”😏 i hope ur day was good alpha! lmk!! also did u end up finding ur airpods… also the teacher! tell meeee!! <3333 iya out !!!
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akascow · 1 year ago
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can you pleaseeeeee watch jjk so you can be as unwell about it as i am
LMAOO ive only seen the first season i was waiting for all of s2 to come out to watch in one sitting n then i forgot about it lmfao
unfortunately it never pulled me in that hard but maybe s2 will help idk😭 inumaki is my fave tho <3
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cakejerry · 1 year ago
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user cakejerry i wanna marry you as well !!! but like you see my point im painfully biased so i refuse to put any blame on a 26 year old grown man so that other guy gets all the heat his fault for writing begin and trying to manufacture a personality for his impressionable member !!! and for pushing the ot7 agenda when HE KNOWSSS that its over for them but also not bc armys are deranged.. so i kinda live for jk going FUCK these guys im the star .. but im also his biggest hater for that bc what about jimin ???? oh and loveee jimin for not giving in bc if MY bd was acting out like that i too would be like idk who this man is ... hate it for him that the only one who can help him out without indirectly leeching off of him is done with his ass </3 like rm is cringe and hes the catalyst for this mess he could have done something.. jin idk much about him LMFAO but im sure he did what he could.. jhope is cool in my book.. yoongis a sellout so hes probably happy as hell rn and would absolutely beg for a cameo in his mv (in hindsight hes worse than rm bc he probably sees everything going on and his little evil villain brain goes hmm what can i get from this) taehyung ... hes currently leeching off of HIS DOG ... CRICKETTTT hes public enemy n1 TO ME and would probably make him worse, and jimin bless his soul ..listen to meeeee you can fix him pleeaase you cant give up on him youre the only one who can save him from hitting rock bottom and inevitably becoming jb we need youuuu
okay I feel like this is a psyop and you went through my entire blog and are trying to seduce me for evil purposes 😭 and it's working! because what do you mean namjoon writing begin is the root of all evil in this world, I LOVE YOUU
Jk is not even saying he's the star other people are telling him that. and he's slowly starting to believe it I fear omg jungkook fight back!
jk jm's baby daddy iktr 😭😭 JIMIN WE NEED YOU TO BE THE MANIC PIXIE DREAM GIRL YOU KNOW YOU CAN BE AND FIX!! THAT!!! MAN!!!! jimin listen to me I know the dick is bomb and you're above getting involved in this mess but PLEASEEEE HOLD OUT UNTIL HE SEES A THERAPIST PLEASEEEEE PLEASEEEEEE. jm hole = answer to world peace
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orbiiitdead · 1 month ago
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oh damn i've always fallen asleep during school since i was a little kid LMFAO class is no match for my fucking sleepiness. no but i understand whenever i visit my family in the summer it's a 16 hour flight and im always so exhausted and angry. i'll pray 4 you to sleep better soon 🙏🙏🙏🙏
i mean i fall asleep a couple of times but ive been doing it every day this week LMFAO so thats unusual for me
16 HIURS good luck i cant do that woah..and yes saturday pleaseeeeee hurryyyyy😭😭 i need my sleep :( like really bad
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arlerts-angel · 5 months ago
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"boutta be reblogging with my left hand" had me CACKLING 😭 pleaseeeeee
LMFAO WHERE IS THE LIE THOUGH 😭
i am so bad at the game but the boys are so,,,!.,!,!, ough and i'm gonna be reblogging lots of stuff this weekend 🥰
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blkkizzat · 4 months ago
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AHHDSDKFHSDKLFHSKDFHK.... IM NOT OKAYYYYY!!!!
firstly can we talk about the opening video!?!? omg its on repeat i love that it feels like an american horror story opening with the like characters and the imagery, set the stage so perfect *chefs kiss*
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So you know those old ass teen books "chicken soup for the soul" well i feel like this was "smut soup for the soul" as the creole in me was literally summoned. like i really felt like i was back in nola at muriel's. you did this idea sm justice ahhhhhhh! knowing the lore too it fit him so well 🥹🩵
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also its official..we are definitely the two worst members of the 'gojo saturo hate club' because why do we do this!?!? lmfaoo why do you write him this way!!? stawwwwwp making me like him 💗😭. i loved the whole cat and mouse appearance with him scaring the shit out of her and the flashbacks.
the fact he was such fuckin perv WHILE she is working midday is crazy—and i ate it right tf up.
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"“to not drink the stupid bitch juice, but with each stroke, each tormenting touch, your resolve crumbled more and more.”
fhdfkjhsdfhj lmfao *me literally CHUGGING stupid bitch juice like its going out of stock and plotting how to buy muriel's from its current owners so me and ghost gojo can live happily together forever.*
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“ needing to be as close to you as possible as he grasped the fat of your ass between his fingers. "Fuck, love," he said, damn-near delirious. "I would've made you a wife in my first time.”
this nigga bout to get a wife right now if he dont stop playin. fdjkhjdsgb like im so down horrendous. ahhh and the way you wrote their interactions. him having a soft spot for her and like just wanting to eat her out over getting his dick wet (not that he didnt want that and i would have been like "what fuckin friend" if i was reader fhdsfjkhsfdjs).
likeeee got me on my "yes i do the cooking, yes i do the cleaning" make yo table so good every night baby i promise
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 Cooing into your folds, slurping your juices like a refreshment, making you completely surrender, his name slipping from your lips in a desperate, needy whisper. 
WHY IS HE SIPPING ON ME LIKE A COOL MINT JULEP HSDFJKSDHFGJSDKF SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY IN FUCKING DEED. I creamed at this frrrrr.
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so when is the ghost!gojo x reader spin off ??? or he could help herrr out more. you know nola has this lore that if you go to haunted houses and technically its not even inside. you dont even have to enter them you cant even walk under the balcony awnings of them on the sidewalk and a ghost can attach itself to you djkhsfadjksfgajsdhf. true story as the tour guide wouldnt even take us on the same side of the street as the Delphine house, he said we could go over there if we wanted to ourselves and he was CREOLE thru and thru so i fully believed he believed it sjkhgdjhsfgj. gojo needs to follow her tho if she try to leave nola without him omg pleaseeeeee.
im down so horrendously bad khfsdkjfhsd. ignore me 😩🩷
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i wanna fucking tear you apart
Vampire SuguChoso x Reader|Halloween Special Three-Shot
Part 1|Part 2|Part 3
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the deets: oh god, where do we begin? let's start in the home of the supernatural, shall we? the great city of New Orleans. and you are absolutely about to shit bricks for having to return here, and not for a reason any sane person would believe. you don't even want to say it out loud and make it real, make them real. but you have to find them, someone's life is at stake if you don't. and the worst part? you reluctantly have to rely on someone, something you've spent years convincing yourself was just a figment of your imagination. be careful reader—or not, you seem to get off on that—because you're about to walk headfirst into something that's going to change your entire world and make you question everything you swore you'd never believe in. w.c: issa surprise. whoever gets the closest, gets a drabble of their choice (restrictions apply. i have to be familiar with the show/story. drop an ask to participate :3) tags: summoning ritual w/ special guest possessive Ghost Gojo who is annoying asf as always but even moreso bc now he can bounce all over the place, ghostly touches, hands up skirts, no bathroom privacy?, taunting and flirting through sexual assault, he's obsessed with your smell and is a panty-sniffer 🧍🏾‍♀️, cunnilingus, fingering, P in V and literally getting the breath knocked out of you, creampie? (you'll understand), coercion for a taste, rutting, and you don't know if you hate him for all of it by the end of the beginning of your journey angel’s note: Satoru...please.. earworm 🐛: tonight you belong to me remix, or the original by Patience and Prudence, it's creepier in my opinion but such a great song
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—Believing—
You don't believe in vampires.
So why in the entire fuck are you standing outside of a restaurant hoping you'll be able to talk to a ghost?
You glance up at the sinking sun, the sky bruising with dusk as the nervous tap of your heel against the cobblestone almost syncs with your heart.
Be cool, be cool.
Surely no one's noticed you sitting here for the past 30 minutes, fidgeting with your fingers, mentally pacing back and forth trying to decide if you'll walk through those doors you haven't opened in 6 years.
Those pale green doors that hold centuries worth of secrets that can never escape.
Including...
But what if all of that was just in your head?
You were younger back then, new to New Orleans, and all those stories, legends, and creepy tales could have easily messed with your head.
No.
You know what you saw.
What you felt.
What you heard. His voice. That smile...
Your chest feels like a knot tied too tight, yet a strange hope flutters beneath the nerves.
Hope that the past wasn't just some weird trick your mind played on you.
Because you could never forget it.
You just hope he hasn't forgotten you.
You take a breath watching the sun finally slip behind the horizon of the place of your eerie past. The old, chipped sign still hanging crooked above the door, and wrought-iron lanterns cast orange halos on the cracked sidewalk.
Closing time is near, and so is the truth you came here for.
But will this be another bust? Or will you finally get to confirm that all of it was real?
It has to be, he has to be...because he's the only one who can help you find where they are. If they even truly exist.
And the second you finally muster up the strength to face and push through those heavy, creaking doors, there's no turning back.
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Walking in feels like you've gone back in time, and everything is just as you left it.
"Hi, welcome to Muriel's." The hostess greets you with a smile that you try to reflect back, hoping that she won't notice your nerves—or worse, that someone from your past will recognize you. "Just to let you know, we will be closing in about 30 to 35 minutes but you are welcome to dine in or takeout." And her eyes drift over your less-than-formal attire, a slight flicker of curiosity in her expression, but the pleasant smile never wavers.
You clear your throat. "Dine in, please," you say, and she reluctantly nods, tucking a menu and silverware under her arm before leading you through the over-the-top space—each step digging you further into the rabbit hole. The details of what you left behind, propels you back in the past. And suddenly you're 19 again, juggling plates and wiping down tables under the watchful gaze of the old regulars. When you last worked here.
The hum of conversation fills the space, but you tune it out, your eyes scanning for familiar things. What the restaurant purposefully lacks on the outside, is equally lacking on the inside.
The tables, dressed in those heavy burgundy cloths. The stuffy velvet chairs, more decoration than comfort. The twinkling glass chandelier that always sparkled a little too brightly for the dark, moody space, and the drapey curtains, still tacky as ever, decorate the walls and clash between the old-world elegance and overdone theatrics.
The bar stools are still worn in the same places, and the corner booth where the kitchen staff would gather to sneaks shots of whiskey after closing still stands strong.
You don't see anyone you recognize—thankfully—but the atmosphere still feels the same. Especially when it seems like the walls are watching you, their quiet judgment as thick and heavy as the air filled with the smell of fried shrimp, garlic, and something bitterly sweet, like old wine left to ferment for too long.
Walking past the table where you used to sit with your tips, counting down the hours until closing and sweet escape, feels heavy, and every step after is like pulling back a curtain on memories you buried deep, unsure if they ever really even happened. But every flicker of light, every clink of glass, makes your heart race just a little. Confirming some kind of PTSD because even if your brain doesn't remember, your body does.
The whispers. The rattling. The presence. Always there, but never seen.
Showing up here almost every single day was definitely the bane of your existence, but you couldn't just quit, not back then.
You needed the money to make ends meet, especially when you chose to go to school out of state.
A broke college student struggling to stay afloat in the wild and "haunted" streets of New Orleans where every shadow told a story and every corner whispered a myth.
NOLA, of all places: home of the supernatural you've never believed, and yet here you are, purposely choosing to have a seat at its table. And nervously glancing over at thee table, perfectly set as if waiting for someone special, yet desolate and tucked away from the rest, the phantom feeling of what happened there years ago creeping through your body as you pick at your meal and try to ignore the urge to bolt on what you think is the stupidest plan you've ever had in your entire life.
By the time you finish up, your heart is pounding, but despite being the worst place you've ever worked in, the food is still as good as you remembered, always feeling like a home you've never visited, soothing your body and making you fight tendrils of sleep.
The restaurant quiets as the final patrons start to leave, you remaining as one of the last stragglers. You pay your tip, stack your dishes out of habit, and now the real waiting begins. "Shut up, shut up," you say to your gut feeling. "I can do this." And you take one last deep breath, bracing yourself as you head toward where everything first went down: the bathroom.
The long, narrow corridor seems darker than ever, the black walls and red carpet only adding to the sense of isolation where you'll be camping out until closing.
You catch a glimpse in the large mirror and pause, barely recognizing yourself—nerves tightening your expression, tension locking your shoulders.
You look like you've already seen the ghost you've come to meet, but give yourself a reassuring head nod, though it feels hollow. And with that, you enter the stall where it all began., Of all the places to meet a ghost...it had to be while you were hovering over a toilet set. That perv.
Crouching into place, you pull your knees into your chest, steadying while listening to the sounds of the restaurant closing—clattering dishes, murmuring voice—all mingling with your thumping heartbeat.
This is so stupid. you think, hiding in here like this, feeling so ridiculous you try not to laugh at the sheer stupidity of it all. But thinking of backing out now and being like "Oops, my bad." to the staff feels even crazier. You're officially in too deep to turn back now.
You shift in your spot and try to get comfortable, knowing that closing can take quite a while in a place this large and "fancy". But your anxiety is not having it, and you nearly lose your balance, your feet slipping and almost falling into the bowl. You curse, gripping the sides of the stall and you freeze, swearing that you heard a snicker.
You huff and shake your head like an Etch-a-Sketch. Knowing you must be hearing things but fuck, how long is this going to take?
It's nerve-wracking when the staff do finally come in to do bathroom checks, but after what feels like an eternity, you're sure the coast is finally clear and you creep out of the stall, the restaurant eerily still now that it's fully closed as you make your way out. Ready to sit at the table you've been staring holes into all evening.
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The velvet rope falls to the side as you part the way. Your fingers trail over the cold cutlery on the table—the finest in the restaurant, decked with gold trim and sitting on porcelain platters. A small smile tugs at your lips. He's always been the type to require the finer things, even in death. Though you're surprised he hasn't turned the place upside down at the slight wrinkle you catch in the tablecloth.
You sink into the chair, the soft and barely worn cushion molding beneath you, almost welcoming you to the table amidst the unsettling darkness, quickly urging you to pull out your candle and a pair of lace panties. Doubts swarm your mind, but you begin anyway, preparing to start the ritual you've never tested before and solely banking on what you've come to know and what you've experienced.
But what if he doesn't show up?
He hasn't the last few times you've visited, and this...this is the most extreme measure you've taken so far.
If this doesn't work, then nothing will, and you hold your breath as you give the match a hard look before striking it, watching the flame cast a glow in the shadows before bringing it to the wick and lighting the darkness.
The restaurant seems even more disturbing as you glance around in the dark. Watching, waiting for any movement, any indication of a presence, of his presence. He's never been predictable, so good at surprises and keeping you on your toes as you worked your shifts from the sun up until it set late at night. Giving you the biggest of scares the first time you felt a brush of your ankle in the bathroom. Thank God you were already on the toilet.
Now, all you can do is wait. Wait and hope that tonight is diff—
Goosebumps rise on your skin and that PTSD kicks in again, catching a glimmer of light in the corner of your eye as a sudden chill creeps in, slithering over your skin. It's subtle at first, like a draft through an open window, but intensifies quickly, and you feel the temperature drop by several degrees. The hairs on the back of your neck stand at attention, and for a second, you swear you can see your breath fog in the dim light of the unnatural cold.
Your arms cross over your chest, instinctively rubbing warmth into your skin, and just when you go to wrap the sweater you brought around your body, it hits you—that smell you could never forget or find anywhere else. Heavy, almost suffocating. Filling your nose and seeping into every breath when you hear his voice echoing out of nowhere.
"Panties for dinner?" The voice curls around you, laced with that same mischievous edge you remember from years ago.
"Shit!" Your stomach plummets into your ass when you look up. Across the room, in the dim reflection of a nearby mirror, you see him. White, ghostly hair sitting atop a tall, slim figure, his form hazy around the edges like smoke threatening to dissipate.
You can't make out all of him, but the presence is unmistakable. And standing right behind you.
You can't even breathe, frozen, staring at the mirror and his sly grin. But when your fight kicks in and you whip around, there's nothing, just empty air and your hot breath floating in it, and you nearly pee yourself when you turn back and he's sitting right across from you. Calm, composed, and smug as ever, resting in his favorite seat in the house. Reserved just for him.
He leans back, white cotton-clad arms crossing behind his head, his ghostly form flickering in and out of the dim light. Almost making him completely translucent save for the reflection in his circular sunglasses. "I know times are changing but—" he tilts them down to eye the lace panties you've laid out. "Even I wouldn't think of adding such a delicacy to the menu."
You release a breath you didn't know you were holding. "Hello, Gojo."
His name feels foreign, yet familiar on your tongue, and though you were just scared out of your wits, relief washes over you. Because you're not crazy. Not then, and not now.
He's real, and now eyeing you up and down as if you're the next thing on the menu.
Seeing him brings back a flood of memories—memories of late-night shifts, of him toying with you when no one else would be bothered.
Though you've never been the type to believe in anything you can't see, working here taught you differently, and you learned that ghosts are surprisingly easy to find. Or at least, it's easy for them to find you.
He laughs. "Damn, really?" raising a brow, "What's with the formalities?"
"Look at you," he says, his voice a soft puff as he leans forward, elbows resting on the table. His pale blue eyes gleam with something between amusement and enticement, lingering as he takes you in. "All grown up," he pops. "And here after all these years. I didn't think you'd have the guts to do it...and bring such...interesting offerings." His lips curl into a slow smirk, the weight of his attention pressing down on you.
“Well, Satoru,” your lips purse, “It’s not like I haven’t been trying.” Remembering the frustration of the past few weeks. “I figured something…unconventional might work. Finally.” 
He tsks, casually lifting the lace, dangling it on the end of his fingers before wrapping it in his hand. Eyeing you with mischief as he brings the offering to his face and drowns his nose. 
“You know…” he breathes deeply, “I’ve yet to find anyone else who smells as sweet as you.” His eyes flutter shut a moment as if savoring the scent, his grip tightening.
Then, as quickly as the moment came, his expression darkens, his tone low and sharp eyes snapping open, narrowing. “You can’t begin to imagine what it’s like to have something like that stripped away from you.”
The words hang in the air, thick and cutting. And you know exactly what he means.
“Is that why you’ve been ignoring me?” The question spills out, gnawing at you and weighed with weeks of trying and failing to reach him since you first came back, wondering why he wouldn’t show. “Because I left?”
Gojo scoffs, smacking his teeth, and looks away, still holding the lace before dismissively letting them fall to the table. “Is it even worth asking?” His eyes flicker back to yours, dripping with disdain. “You sound so sure. Less of a coward now than you were back then,” he mutters, a bitter edge creeping in that knots your stomach.
“Tell me,” he leans, voice crawling with vice, “…was I too much for you that night?” And your throat tightens, memories of your last shift at Muriel’s rushing back full force. 
Most tourists who flock to this charming, haunted restaurant only know the glossy version of its history.
It’s themed, plays up its rumors, is gimmicky, and serves great food all in one curated pot.
But what most don’t know, is that back in the day, it actually used to be a house—a grand, extravagant mansion that was a symbol of wealth and power, drawing in the city’s elite. But all of that splendor needed someone just as luxurious to maintain it and its reputation for being the place to be if there ever was one. 
And that someone was Gojo.
A filthy rich owner with an exorbitantly large bank account and an even larger love for hosting extravagant parties. He didn’t throw these gatherings just for fun—no, they were about keeping the eyes of the elite on him and his sprawling mansion. His house wasn’t just a home—it was a glittering symbol of his status. 
And as famous as Gojo was for his parties, he was just as infamous for his way with women. A relentless womanizer, he cycled through lovers like the seasons, keeping them rotating out of his door like clockwork and quick to turn down any who tried to trap him with promises of children or falling in love. 
Gojo very much valued his freedom, up until he took his very last breath. 
With no one to pass along his estate to, he left no heirs and no family to carry on his legacy, and everything he possessed was auctioned to the public. Being sold to someone just as wealthy and lucky enough to be able to continue the home’s reputation.
But even in death, Gojo didn’t care for sharing the spotlight, or his house.
Through the years, the infamous home was passed from hand to hand, and with each new arrival, Gojo made sure they knew he was still a guest with the same appetite for attention he’d always had. 
His tricks started small, mere nuisances at first—footsteps in empty hallways, doors that wouldn’t stay shut, flickers of lights just as someone reached for the switch. But anyone who dared to claim the house as their own quickly realized that Gojo wasn’t the type to share his space.
Years passed, and the mansion’s reputation grew darker. Haunted, they said. 
No one could live there without being tormented by the mischievous, jealous ghost of its original owner, making no one want to touch it with a 10-foot pole. For quite some time, the formerly luxurious home sat on the market, a ghost of itself collecting dust and weary stares from passersby familiar and foreign. But it wasn't until someone got the brilliant idea to say fuck it and try to bank on the legends that it was finally opened to the public. Done in a way that was guaranteed to attract people from around the world—by turning it into a restaurant. And consequently making Gojo’s antics truly infamous.
At first, the new owners didn’t believe in the stories. It’s just old pipes and drafty halls, they said. But that excuse wore thin. Quickly. 
They would return to tables flipped overnight, chairs scattered around the space like a storm had blown through. Champagne glasses, polished and neatly stacked at closing, would go flying across the bar and shatter against the walls by morning. Whispers could be heard in patrons’ ears during dinner and ruin appetites. 
Workers began quitting. Customers stopped coming.
Eventually, enough was enough, and the owners, desperate and undoubtedly true believers now, decided to strike a deal with the restless spirit and finally appeal to his easily bruised ego. And they set up an exquisite V.I.P. table just for him, even going so far as to allow reservations to be made to have dinner with him and appeal to his sense of companionship once every blue moon. 
Once again, Gojo was the center of attention, and just like that, the chaos stopped.
For regular diners, at least. But then, you came along.
At first, it was subtle—small things that could easily be dismissed as accidents or coincidence. 
A fork slipping from your grasp, a shadow moving out of the corner of your eye.
You’d been warned about Gojo when you were hired but quickly dismissed it as a funny story to tell tourists (like you weren’t borderline new to the city yourself). 
You didn’t believe—not in ghosts, not in any of it. 
That is, until the antics became too much to ignore, and Gojo grew tired of playing games.
The whispers weren’t vague murmurs anymore—they were in your ear, low and teasing and calling your name. The pranks weren’t harmless either—pinches of the fat on your thighs almost made you drop dishes, gushes of wind fluttered your skirt, exposing your flesh to customers, cool breaths ghosted your neck while taking orders. And on the more vulgar end of the scale, you learned that Gojo had an infatuation with your panties, ghosting his hand under your skirt to skim the fabric and trap remnants of you on his fingers to smell and taste. And when that wasn’t enough, he would resort to stealing them, almost always running off with a pair before the end of your shift so he could relish your intoxicating scent while you were away.
He wanted your attention and was relentless, loving to see you flustered and squirming. And he wasn’t going to stop until he had it.
Then came that night. 
The night everything changed.
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It was a quiet evening at Muriel's.
The last of the guests had filtered out, the last of the servers and kitchen staff had gone save for a few, and only a soft clatter of dishes in the back and the low hum of the kitchen being scrubbed down kept your company at the end of your shift.
And it had become the usual for you to be the only one left at the end of the day. Ever since your promotion to shift lead, you were the one expected to close up most days. It was a small step-up—more responsibility, slightly more money, but it almost meant longer hours, on top of still going to being a full-time student. The bags under your eyes couldn't be bigger, but someone had to make sure everything was in order before locking up. You were happy to take the extra cash and kill some debt, but nights like that one—when the restaurant was eerily still, and you were the only one walking its halls—made you question if the raise was really worth it.
You were wiping down and fixing the last of tables, mind drifting, tired, and very, very ready to go home and start your second shift on your assignments.
You slowly feel your muscles tensing, your movements growing slow and stiff. It's cold as fuck, colder than it's ever been in the restaurant making hairs stand on your arms and your brows furrow, wondering if the heat had finally kicked out in the old place when a familiar scent hit you. A thick, heady fragrance that'd been haunting you for weeks—opulent, like aged leather, tobacco, and something sweet like an overripe plum. You'd smell it before, but it was stronger than ever that night, filling the air like a thick perfume that almost made you choke, and your heart quicken. Because you were the only one in the restaurant.
A whisper right in your ear almost sent you to glory. "Leaving so soon, beautiful?"
You jolted, a rush of heat and cold spiraling through you as you whipped around, expecting to find an empty room as usual, but your rag slipped from your fingers.
Because this time, there it was.
Not just a flicker of light, not just a trick of the shadows—but standing there, casually leaning against the bar as if it'd been waiting for you. Its hair white and ghostly, catching the low light and loosely floating around its sharp, pale face. A man, unworldly and almost hypnotically angelic.
And his clothes—God, he was a vision of the past, looking like he'd stepped straight out of the 18th century. Dressed in a loose, long-sleeved cotton shirt that wasn't buttoned all the way, revealing his chest and looking impossibly soft as it bobbed around him with every subtle move, as if it had a life of its own. Untouched by the laws of physics, along with his baggy, almost billowing pants that seemed of an accessory to his form rather than a garment.
He looked like he was floating in water.
But it wasn't just the look of him that struck you—it was his presence.
You'd been receiving little snippets of the supposed guilty party for months, but now he was revealing his full form and moving around the room with an ease that was unnerving. Graceful in a way that made him seem more like a dream than a ghost, his feet barely touching the ground as he circled you—a predator accessing its prey.
He wore circular sunglasses, perched right on the bridge of his nose. The modern touch starkly contrasted the vintage quality of his existence, making him all the more haunting. They reflected the dim light and hid his eyes, but you could feel the intensity of his gaze piercing right through you.
He smiled—lazy, dangerous, and knowing. Like he could see every one of your thoughts. "Like what you see?" And your stomach twisted. Because whether you wanted to admit it or not, you couldn't deny that you had been waiting for him.
For months, Gojo had been playing with you, pushing and teasing to the brink of borderline insanity. But never in your wildest thoughts did you expect this. Not for him to ever fully reveal himself. Or for him to be so...ethereally gorgeous in a way that made your mouth dry.
You couldn't help but to stare, captivated by his strange, almost unsettling beauty. You'd been told about his promiscuity, his natural ability to captivate women and now you could see how.
He was an enigma, an impossible class of time periods—both out of place and yet perfectly at home in this old, creaky restaurant.
And despite every instinct screaming at you to get the hell out of Dodge, you were drawn to him, just as you had been since that very first whisper in your ear that made you second-guess reality.
"Well, say something." He laid his cheek on his palm. "Or am I just that handsome?"
And there it was—that egregious arrogance you'd heard so much about, dripping from every word, as if he hadn't been terrorizing you from the moment you stepped foot in the place, or just given you the jumpscare of your life. Though what threw you off most was the way he didn't sound like you expected; his voice didn’t match the way he dressed or the era period he seemed to belong to.
You swallowed hard, struggling to find your voice, but the sight of him, his sheer presence, made it almost impossible. "Cat got your tongue?"
“I’m not scared,” you finally croaked out, lifting your chin, though your voice betrayed you. And the second the words left your mouth, you regretted them, his brows raising and grin widening as he sensed the challenge in your words.
"Not scared, huh?" He stepped closer until the distance between you was almost nonexistent, calling your obvious bullshit by the way you could barely handle his taunts during your day shifts. He paused.
"Boo!"
You jumped, then immediately felt like a little bitch for falling for the oldest trick in the book. You didn't find anything funny but Gojo roared, slapping his knee. "Awww, you're so cute when you're pissed," remarking your scowling face and wiping a fake tear. But then his sensual smile returned, reaching out and tilting your chin. "So what'll get you riled up then, brave little waitress?" And he's behind you before you could turn away, running your blood cold as his nose grazed your neck, inhaling the scent of your hair
You swatted at him, more out of instinct than logic and quickly spun around—only to find nothing. Just empty space and the faint scent of him still hanging in the air like a ghost.
Fuck, where is he?
Your heart thundered in your ears, each breath coming quicker and quicker as your wide eyes scanned the room.
Panic surged through you, fighting to steady your nerves when you turned back and there he was, inches away from your face.
"Fu—!" You flinched and he snickered. "Still not scared?" And he took another step forward.
Your shaky breaths said yes but your head shook no, trying to stand your ground even as your feet moved backwards.
"No?" he grinned, closing the distance between you with every step. "Good. I don't want you to be." Still, his eyes glinted behind those ridiculous shades that hid too much and made it impossible to think straight. Your body moved on autopilot, flight instead of fight kicking in, until the small of your back collided with something solid.
Your breath hitched, aimlessly reaching behind to steady yourself when the soft, velvety fabric sent pins and needles through your body, realizing that you had bumped into the table you just spent too much time painstakingly freshening up earlier—his table.
His grin was positively wicked now, watching it dawn on your face, registering the fact that you had bumped into the very thing you unironically set up for him, the cool surface pressing into your lower back, cutlery clinking and shifting beneath your fingers. Trapped.
Gojo leaned over you. "Funny," his cool breath brushed your cheek. "I've been watching you for a while now, you know," he mused, his hand slowly creeping up your thigh, fingers barely brushing beneath your fluffy work skirt, jolts rocking through you that made you stiffen as you looked up at him with wide eyes.
"I can detect heart rates," he continued, voice a low purr. "And yours? I've been listening to it for months since I first started...playing with you." He smirked. "How it slows down when you think it's all in your head. How it spikes every time something moves that isn't supposed to. How scared you look when you can't figure out what's happening."
He practically towered over you now, leaning down to brush the shell of your ear with his lips as he added, "But it's never beat this fast before." A breath caught in your throat when his hand slid higher, his fingers curling around the divet of your hip.
"You take such good care of my table, doll. No one has done it better since it's been here." And your knees went weak feeling him knead and trace patterns over your hip with his thumb. "Sooo," he smiled against your ear, "It's only fair I put all that hard work to good use right?"
You tried to twist away, you really did, but it was a fruitless attempt to put some distance between you and the ghost. His grip was ironclad and anchoring you to the table, even in his spectral form, reminding you that though he was just a spirit, his strength was all too real. The cool burn seeping through you, yet contrasting the warmth pooling between your legs.
You swore under your breath, feeling your body betray you with each ghostly touch, shivers cascading down your spine and your jaw clenched, trying to ignore the arousal gathering in your panties, but Gojo was no amateur. He had done this dance for far too long and far too many times, and he knew the signs better than anyone.
He pulled back just enough to really get a good look at you, the smirk never leaving his face as he took in the blush creeping up your face, the rapid rise and fall of your swelling chest, the way you tugged on your lower lip in a poor attempt to maintain some semblance of control.
"I'll stop if you tell me to," he murmured so sincerely, but it felt like a trick as his other thumb now traced slow, maddening circles up your inner thigh, inching ever closer to the heat radiating from your core, and you started to protest, but the words died in your throat when he finally brushed the damp fabric of your panties.
Your mouths fell open, both of you caught entirely off guard at how surprisingly wet you were.
Gojo let out a breathless chuckle, eyes darkening beneath his glasses at the feel of your warm slick. "Just say the word, beautiful," a silken whisper that seemed to wrap around you along with the continuously languid strokes of your puckering clit.
"Hah." Panic mingled with helplessness in a battle between your mind and body.
There was no denying the effect he was having on you.
The gradual build-up of unhinged chemistry had unknowingly begun even when he was just an easily dismissive taunt—no matter how much you wanted to resist.
And the bastard knew it.
Reveled in it even, his ghostly fingers toying with the elastic edge of your panties and teasing you with the promise of something more. You just had to say yes.
No.
You squeezed your eyes shut, fabric bunching under your fingers as you tried to reason with yourself, to not drink the stupid bitch juice, but with each stroke, each tormenting touch, your resolve crumbled more and more.
"Look at me." His tone left no illusion of choice, and your eyes fluttered open, meeting the reflection of your pathetic face in his sunglasses, the distorted image mocking you before he pulled them down the bridge of his nose. "Good girl." Tucking the corner of his lip under his teeth and rewarding you with a firmer touch that made your hips involuntary buck towards him with a mewing "Ah!"
His ghostly laugh filled the room and vibrated through his hand resting between your legs. "I wonder," his brow quirked, eyes wandering over your body. "What other sounds I can draw out of you?"
You tried to respond, lips hot and ready to tell him to go to hell, but the only sound that escaped you was a strangled whimper feeling his fingers hook under your panties and pull them aside, exposing you to the cool air as you looked into his relentless gaze. He didn't even have to look to know that you were absolutely dripping, heat blooming in your face as your thighs rushed to clamp shut but his other hand firmly held you open.
"So stubborn," he smiled, feeling so lucky he's already dead by the way your eyes shoot daggers, and he gets an idea seeing your cute tight-lipped face. "Let's see how long you can keep up that fight of yours, hmm?" And he continues his dizzying but purposely feather-light strokes, determined to bring you to the precipice of shattering into pieces.
If you thought you were crazy before, you felt absolutely insane now the way you had two voices on your shoulder, an Angel and a Devil.
This is a ghost, for God's sake, the angel panicked, screaming about the sheer insanity of the situation.
That dick might hit different though, the Devil argued, voice husky and persuasive, reminding you of endlessly late nights spent studying and the dry spells that came with it. Typical of an obnoxiously busy youth battling between college and work.
It'll literally be out of this world sis, the Devil purred, and though you wanted to cringe at your conscious's bad joke, you couldn't help but acknowledge it as something that just might be true. Because despite the disbelief you were in about the reality of your situation, Gojo's very real, very rock-hard, and solid dick pressing against your knee was undeniable. And the idea of it sinking between your walls snuck into your head all on its own.
Your hand trembled, reaching out, wanting—no, needing to feel the subtly thumping temptation that promised a release you hadn't experienced in far too long. The outline wasn't enough, you needed to feel it's girth, it's length, and your fingers ghosted right through him.
"Ah ah ah," he chided, caressing your cheek. "Not until you say yes." And you felt physically ill as you took a second to even hesitate. To consider. Absolute mad. Insane. And disgustingly aching with a need so strong it made your head hurt until both of your bickering voices fell silent when you blurted, "Yes!"
And the world itself held its breath.
But it was all Gojo needed, his eyes flashing in triumph with a devious smirk. And in a movement too fast for your eyes to see, hoisted you up and turned you over, a gasp escaping your lips and he pushed you into a sinful arch until your chest planted on the table.
The heat of his gaze was blazing, taking in such a lewd display that was begging to be touch, and who was he to resist? Allowing his hands to roam your body with an urgency that left you breathless, his touch cold yet exhilarating and racing your beating heart.
Nudging your legs apart, he crouched down, cooing.
"Even prettier than I imagine." Pushing a huff out of you as his thumb slid in, slowly stretching you and coating his finger in your fluids that made his already translucent finger glisten.
His lips curled into a devilish grin at the sight of you, sprawled out of the table, your face flushed with desire and breaths short and needy. He brought his thumb to his lips, tasting you and almost dying all over again, the mix of savory sweetness and tangy heat making his already painfully hard cock twitch with anticipation.
"Delicious," he purred, "But I need more," and you couldn't even process his words before his hands were on your thighs and spreading you wide, his breath cool against your heated flesh. And then his mouth was on you, tongue tracing circles around your sugary clit, lazy but heavy when your head shot up, feeling him suck it into his mouth with an expertise that made your hand shoot out and fingers tangle in his hair. Helplessly whining and squirming, yet pulling him closer and grinding down on his face to chase his tongue.
He was in bliss with your taste, dipping in and out of your core and bringing you to the brink of shattering into a million pieces, but the dick in his pants was impatient, and you groaned feeling him pull away with a huff.
"Sweet girl," he murmured, lips glistening with your watery mess as he rose to his feet. "But I want to feel you come undone on my cock." And you jumped when you felt his thick, hard length teasing your entrance. Sending a jolt through your body at the sensation of his cool, ghostly flesh against your warm pussy before digging his hands into your hips and slamming into you with a force that knocked the breath from your lungs.
In an instant, you're both frozen, him buried to the hilt inside you and feeling your unprepared pussy squeeze and struggle to adjust to the feeling of being so unbelievably full. Feeling every ridge, every vein of his cock throbbing inside your tight, little walls.
He groaned, "Fuck," hissing and fingers digging into your flesh as he fought for control. "You feel so..." Losing his words and his hips beginning to move, thrusts slow and deliberate as he started fucking you and fucking you good after months of build-up and playing with you. Shaking the table until creaked and groaned, the cutlery clinking and dishes falling to the ground as he drove into you again and again and again, your hands scrambling to find purchase on the table and hang on.
It was too much, it was heaven on a very big, very thick, drool-inducing stick, it was so delicious that the intense ache bordered pain and made you want to get away yet run towards it at the same time.
"I don't know who you've been holding out on me for," he gruffed, eyeing screwing shut at your tight, fluttering pussy, "But tonight, you belong to me." And he punctuated his point with deep, harsh, thrusts.
"Go-Go-GoJO." You stammered over his name, and he wrapped a hand under your neck, pulling you back against him.
"Call me, Satoru, doll," and he kissed your cheek, still bullying your pussy until your walls caved and hungrily sucked him in.
"Sa-Satoru," you managed, almost breathless, "I'm going to..hah, I'm about to..."
You can't even get them out, damn near blacking out when you came and came hard, a powerful, unexpectantly early orgasm ripping through your convulsing body—wave after wave after of white-hot pleasure washing over you until your body went limp against him, your legs crumbling as he let you collapse against the table.
But he wasn't finished yet. Still deeply pushing through your sore and fluttering walls, his mind a heady mix of egotistical pride and unyielding desire as he felt you shudder and unravel beneath him. Marveling at the sight of you utterly defeated yet still clinging to the table, the way your sweet voice called out his name in ecstasy, and every shaky breath and tremble as he pushed you into overstimulation until his own breath grew uneven.
His release was coming and coming fast, the telltale sign tightening in his core as he watched your ass ricochet off his snapping hips, teetering on the edge of release.
His fingers dug into your nearly limp body, holding you in place, each thrust becoming more desperate and erratic because even though his dick was a punisher and you were practically lifeless, your pussy was still whooping his ass. Coaxing him to dig deeper and deeper and look Nirvana right in the face until with a hoarse groan, he finally shattered and moaned your name, knocking your hips into the table and stilling right against your cervix until he spilled into you with a fierce, unrestrained release that left him trembling and breathless and you heady and wondering if you could get pregnant by a ghost.
Huffing, he folded over you, feeling like life had been pulled out of him once again, needing to be as close to you as possible as he grasped the fat of your ass between his fingers. "Fuck, love," he said, damn-near delirious. "I would've made you a wife in my first time." But you didn't even have enough consciousness to process the never-said-before words that many before you would've given their very soul to hear.
As the world around you faded to black, the only thing you were aware of was the feeling of Gojo's body pressed against yours, murmuring your name in your ear like a promise, and to this day you still don't know what he meant by putting your hard work to good use because after allowing him to have his way, his table was left in absolute shambles.
Those few minutes of pure, carnal delirium had burned into you, leaving you shook, figuratively and literally for weeks, even after the semester ended and you returned home for the summer.
And what most would think would be the best night in your entire existence and begging for more, actually left you rattled to your core and questioning your sanity. Seeing him, feeling him, almost every night after in your dreams.
Convinced that the pressure of academics, a new city, and your overworked imagination had become too much, you made a choice—transferring schools and never returning to New Orleans. Leaving behind your job and all the friends you made. Telling yourself that the encounter with Gojo had to be nothing more than a full mental breakdown. And yet...
The feeling of him lingered with you for years. So real, so vivid like he was somehow watching, somehow waiting for you to—
"Earth to beautiful." His voice sliced through your trip down memory lane and dragged you back to the present. You blink, realizing with a start that he was no longer sitting across from you.
Following his voice, your gaze darted to the left, and there he was again, lounging on one of the plush chairs in the corner of the restaurant.
You shift in your seat, hesitating as the memories collide with the present. "No," you start, remembering his question. "It wasn't that..."
Gojo's playful smile dims just a little but enough to notice. "Then enlighten me, doll, because last I remember, you just up and left without so much as a goodbye."
You swallow, the knot of guilt building in your stomach. "It wasn't because of you—"
His laugh cut through your words, sharp and bitter, echoing off the walls when he vanishes only to reappear behind you. "Sure didn't feel that way to me, sweetheart."
You whip around to face him, but he's already gone, reappearing across the room, shoulder leaning against the wall. "You thought I wouldn't notice?" His arms cross. "Didn't even come back for a single shift, just left me hanging like I had done something wrong...no one's ever done that before." And the way he's trying to suppress the sadness in his voice lets you know that he's obviously still salty about it.
For once, the entertainer had his own entertainment—genuine, proper, and unlike anything he ever experienced in the life he knew before and even after death. And it had been stripped away from him just like that.
"I didn't—" And he's gone again, this time materializing at the bar, resting his elbows on it like this whole conversation is nothing but a joke because truthfully, "I've missed playing with you," he confesses.
Heat rises in your cheeks, a mixture of flustered embarrassment and lingering guilt, and you don't know how to feel anymore. "I didn't leave because of you," you insist, but even to you, it sounds weak.
"Then what was it?" Gojo taunts, appearing at a table closer to you, leaning forward in that all-too-familiar lazy, arrogant pose. "Got spooked? Couldn't handle me?" His defensiveness makes it clear he' isn't really listening. "Or maybe..." his voice drops low, "You liked it too much." And your pulse spikes instantly, his teasing combined with what may be a sliver of truth, making your skin prickle.
He watches you with a wolfish grin, knowing exactly what he's doing, how he's affecting you. And when the obvious look of frustration appears on your face before you start to chew him out, he's gone. And you've officially had it.
"Dammit, Gojo!" you snap, pushing up from his table. "Would you stop already?" Your eyes dart around for the source of your anger, trying to follow his shifting presence as he flickers in and out of view. "I came back to talk, not to play your stupid ass games again!" you shout, hoping that'll trigger him, but the room falls silent, the only the sound your own soft breath, and for a moment, you think maybe he's finally let his emotions get the best of him and he's disappeared forever.
"Tell me..." and in a sudden flicker, he's in front of you, his hand lifting to softly brush your cheek, the touch cold and electric. "After all these years..." His fingers draw a slow line from your neck to your tummy. "Can you still feel me...down there?"
You've never been more flabbergasted.
You let out a short exhale, instinctively taking a step back, but Gojo is already pressing forward, making you stumble back until the cool wood of the bag digs into your lower back like deja vu. His hand is already on your waist, fingers possessively curling around you, and with a casual, effortless push, he hoists you onto the bar, parting your legs with ease and slotting himself between them as if he's always belonged there. Stirring something deep inside you.
You should be scrambling to get down, but you hate how easily your body reacts to him instead, how the pull between you feels just as strong as it did back then, as if the years apart meant nothing. But Gojo isn't afraid to throw away his ego to show you he misses you even after all this time. And damn it, you feel absolutely insane realizing that part of you misses him too, even if it was just a few months of build-up and one explosive night.
But you're older now. You're not the same naive girl he could easily swoon with a smirk and a whisper of words.
No, you were here for a reason and didn't hesitate to swallow down your confusing desire to stick to the mission. Even if it meant breaking his heart.
“Stop,” you say more to yourself than him, but the firmness in your voice surprises both of you. Pulling away from his lingering hands, you shake your head. “I’m not here for that.”
His hands freeze in place, and he leans back just enough to meet your eyes. “No?” He mocks surprise. “Then what are you here for, sweetheart? Because I’m having a hard time believing this isn’t it.”
You lift your chin, forcing out the words before you lose your nerve. “I need your help, Gojo.”
“Satoru,” he corrects you, but his smile slightly falters when he sees you’re serious.
“Help?” He tilts his head. “And here I thought you just missed me.” His smile widens, but there’s something dangerous in it now. Something that makes you remember just how unpredictable Gojo can be. And just you think he’s got the wrong idea and is going in for a kiss, he leans back and gives you space. His arms cross over his chest, gaze flickering over your face before he sighs. “What could I possibly help you with?” And his willingness to listen is what surprises you the most, but you still can’t believe what you’re about to say, drawing a steady breath to help get the words out.
“I need to find them.”
His brow quirks. “Them?”
“...the vampires.” And the second the word leaves your mouth, his grin falters.
For the first time since he appeared, the amusement completely drops from his face and he’s suddenly careful with his words. “I thought you didn’t believe in that stuff.”
“I—” You hesitate, wanting to say that you don’t know what you believe in anymore. Never in your entire life expecting to have a full-fledged conversation with a ghost, let alone be fucked into oblivion by one, but instead, you just say what’s true. “Things have changed.”
“I see,” his eyes narrow as if weighing your words before he shrugs and walks off a bit. “Quite the 180,” he muses, “But who knows, maybe they’re real, maybe they’re not. Maybe I know,” and he turns back and leans in. “Maybe I don’t,” he whispers.
His words taunt you, but it’s the look in his eyes that holds you captive, as if he’s trying to pull the truth right out of your skull. “Why? Why are you so eager to find them?” And you’re taken aback by his suddenly jealous tone. 
“It’s my friend…” And you feel pathetic for wanting to cry. “She’s missing.”
Gojo’s face slightly softens, but he doesn’t speak. You just know that he’s listening, truly listening now.
“She started acting all…weird before she disappeared,” you continue, throat tightening as the memories of you meeting in college races through your mind. You stayed friends after you left, but she never did. “She mentioned vampires once, but I just thought she was messing around. NOLA, y’know?” You shrug. “I blew it off,” you confess, “But now…she’s gone and I—now I don’t know what else to think.” And all of the despair you’ve been suppressing finds its way to your chest.  
But all Gojo cared about most was getting an answer that satisfied him, and suddenly, he’s behind the bar, his fingers ghosting under your chin and tilting your head back until you’re forced to look at him. 
“So this is about your friend then? Not the vampires?”
Your face twists. “Yeah, of course, what else?”
He mutters something under his breath, looking off to the side. Then his eyes narrow, glinting with something unreadable as they snap back to yours. “And why do you think I’m just going to hand you that kind of information? That I would even have it?”
And the temperature around you drops so sharply you can see your breath hanging in the air. 
The realization of the power Gojo holds, even if it is just secrets, is more than you can comprehend, and you’re asking him to hand it over willingly. But you swallow hard, licking your chilling lips. “Because I know you can help me, Satoru,” you say with deliberate emphasis. “I remember what you said once…about knowing things.”
The silence that follows stretches too long for comfort, weighty as he just watches you with an unreadable expression. For a moment, panic flutters in your stomach.
Have you pushed him too far? Was this plan to reconnect with him for answers nothing more than a foolish misjudgment? What if Gojo chooses revenge and leaves you with nothing—all of this…for nothing?
But then, ever so slowly, that unmistakable smirk returns as he leans close enough to almost brush your cool lips. “Vampires, huh?” His mouth curls into a full, dangerous smile now. “You must be desperate, coming to me for that.”
Your gaze doesn’t waver, nodding. “I am.” And Gojo chuckles, the sound both chilling and thrilling as he traces your jawline. “Then I suppose we’d better make this…interesting.” But you aren’t even surprised because if there was one thing you didn’t need to be told, it’s that Gojo isn’t going to make anything easy. He never has. But at least he’s willing to strike up a deal.
Gojo only agrees to tell you what you need to know on one condition: “I want to taste you,” he says simply, like it’s nothing. “That’s it.” And you can’t even fully process the words as his arm slips around your waist, gently pulling your back against his front, his hand snaking down to find home between your legs. “I didn’t get to properly the first time,” he muses, his breath cool against your neck. Sharing the sentiment as if he knows you may never come back. 
Your pulse quickens, the gravity of what he’s asking settling in. Memories of that night—the sheer intensity of it—clouding your judgment and flooding your mind like the heat building between your legs. The request hangs between you like a blade. Giving you a choice, but you know there’s no real option here. If you refuse, he might not give you what you need. But if you agree…
“That’s it?” you whisper. He nods. And after a moment’s ponder as his fingers tease against your skin and spur your decision, history repeats itself when you once again say yes.
In an instant, he’s on his knees in front of you, eliciting a gasp from you when he swiftly pulls you to the edge of the bar. He blissfully hums, his hands gliding up and down your thighs like silk before parting them like the Red Sea. The blue of his eyes flares as he ogles you, the sight of unclothed and oh so pretty, glistening cunt confirming what he already knew, that the lace panties you used to summon him had come freshly off your body. 
His eyes darken with desire, never leaving yours as he leans in. "This. This is all I want," he murmurs, his lips brushing the inside of your thigh with a featherlight touch.
“Mmph.” Your fingers curl into fists as you fight the urge to grab his hair and guide him to where you’ve been throbbing the most. Because despite your words earlier, the way your body responds to his touch, every tremble, every subtle sigh, doesn't lie. 
You wanted this as badly as he did. 
But Gojo is in control; his movements deliberate, slow, and savoring every inch of your exposed skin.
And he’s determined to show you exactly what you’ve been missing. 
His cool breath fans against your skin, his lips soft, teasing, and leaving a trail of icy fire as they move closer to your center. Closer to the source of your intoxicating scent that hooked him like an addict from the moment you first entered the restaurant six years ago. 
Your fingers clench the bar's edge, the cool wood a poor substitute for the touch you crave.
God, you wish he’d stop toying with you. Even when you give in and give him exactly what he wants, he still finds a way to make everything a game.
And just when you’re ready to huff and puff, the first flick of his tongue against your sensitive flesh almost makes you fall apart and draw a sharp breath. Your back arches as if jolted by electricity, unable to help the moan that follows and echoes in the deserted restaurant.
His hands grip your hips, holding you in place as he delves deeper, circling his tongue around your puffy clit and puckering hole. And he’s true to his word, taking his time to explore and savor you with long, languid strokes that have you gripping the bar until your knuckles turn white. 
Like a man possessed, his hands claim your thighs, devouring you with a maddening intensity and leaving you breathless. A sinful blend of pleasure and arousal as he navigates your most sensitive spots as if he’s done so a hundred times. Cooing into your folds, slurping your juices like a refreshment, making you completely surrender, his name slipping from your lips in a desperate, needy whisper. 
He smiles against your bud he sucks like a popsicle, your brows furrowing and body arching as he expertly brings you to the brink of desperate release. “Patience, sweetheart.” Gojo looks up at you, eyes gleaming with mischief as his tongue swipes at the taste of you on his lips. “Good things come to those who wait.”
But waiting is the last thing on your mind as you stare at him, your body aching for more before his lips hover just above your throbbing core. You’re holding your breath without realizing it, every nerve in your body attuned to his every move. Then he’s on you again, his fingers digging into your flesh, the slight sting only heightening the pleasure coursing through your veins.
“Fuck baby,” he laps, a digit slipping into your tight walls, “I’ve missed this.” Adding a second that hooks right onto your G-spot and shoots stars into your eyes. Making it worse by slurping your clit into his mouth in a nasty combination while pushing in and out.
The pressure inside you mounts and your eyes roll uncontrollably as you teeter on the edge, breaths come in sharp, ragged gasps and your body wound up so tightly it feels like you might shatter as you chase the sensation, hips bucking into Gojo’s face.
His hands clamp down on your thighs. “Stay still,” he commands, his low growl vibrating through you. But his words only fan the flames of your desperation, whimpers escaping you before he’s back at it, his tongue dancing over your clit with fiery precision. 
You’re about to beg, to plead for release, hands scrambling to grasp him when you know you can’t when he slightly pulls back. 
“Now,” he says, his gaze locked onto yours. “Now you can touch me.” And for a moment, you’re not sure you’ve heard him correctly. 
But then you feel it—the change like a switch has been flipped. A newfound solidity where there has been none before that your body instinctively responds to. 
You reach out, tentative at first, and find yourself shocked when your fingers graze the top of his head. His hair is unexpectedly soft; threading your fingers through the silky strands and gripping them lightly as your legs wrap around his shoulders to pull him closer to chase ecstasy. 
Years have gone by, lovers have come and go, but nobody, nobody has been able to slurp, suck, or devour you anywhere near as close as Gojo. He eats you with a passion, with a determination to make you fall apart and come undone like the pleasure is more his than yours. If you could say there was ever a true eater who ever walked this earth, the first person you think of is him. And if you were around in the 1800s, you probably would have tried to trap him and ride his face into the sunset too. 
It’s that low, guttural hum, his nose nuzzling deep against your folds like a madman and fingers harshly curling against that perfect, gummy spot in you that finally sends you toppling right over, and with a final, drawn-out moan, you shatter beneath his touch and the world explodes into a kaleidoscope of color and light. 
Your legs tighten around him, holding him in place as you ride out the storm of pleasure, grasping his platinum locks with both hands and drenching his face with your sweet release as you cum harder than you have in 6 years.  
Your mouth falls open in shock, embarrassment flushing your body as you expect Gojo to release you in disgust, but his only response is a low hum of approval, and his hands slide up your body to pin your writhing hips down and drink as he pleases. Not missing a single drop. 
Your body pulses with aftershocks on his tongue, each wave weaker than the last but his tongue doesn’t stop. And when your eyes cross from the overstimulation, you beg and blubber until you can’t anymore and finally collapse on the bar, panting and covered in a sheen of sweat as you come down from the high.
When he’s satisfied and full, Gojo slowly pulls away, a smug slip playing on his lips as he licks them. Gazing up at you, his eyes—bluer than ever—roam over your flushed form. “Delicious as ever,” and his praise is almost as sweet as the sight of you. “Now,” he says, rising to his feet, “About those vampires…”
You take a second. “Right…,” and huff, “the vampires.” You’re so spent you almost forgot what you came here for, your core feeling tight and sore as you attempt to sit up. Little groans slipping out before Gojo catches you off-guard, smashing his lips against yours in the first kiss you two have ever had. Letting you taste yourself on his cool tongue and making your head swim. You could lose yourself it in, seeming to go on forever, as his possessive hands roam all over your body.
You moan into his mouth. “Go-Satoru.” Trying to fight the heady feeling, but you should’ve known better. An indulgent man like Gojo would never stop at just one taste.  
He can feel you slowly cracking, and when he finally breaks the kiss, your lips are left swollen and tingling before he steals your breath again when he begins rutting against you. 
“I want to fuck you down on my cock so bad.” His face is buried in the crook of your neck, breaths coming in short, ragged pants. Sick off of the scent scent of your hair. “Would that be so bad?” 
“Satoru,” you breathe out, a plea, a warning? You’re not sure which. “We had a deal, Satoru,” you remind him, struggling to hold onto any semblance of control, the sensation of his length rubbing against your sensitive and still-soaking core almost too much as you remember how full you were that night.
For a moment, it feels like he won't stop—and maybe you don’t want him to. But your resolve, silent yet firm, cuts through Gojo’s haze of desire, even if your body isn’t strong enough to resist and push him away yourself. And with a soft, almost reluctant sigh, Gojo huffs, and swears to himself being the one to pull away.
You swipe your bottom lip, for a second missing his on yours, and it takes a moment for you to clear your head, your hands unsteady as they fumble to straighten your clothes and fix yourself up as you slide off the bar. It's only after several deep breaths that your pulse begins to steady, and you can meet his eyes and that same infuriating smirk as he crosses his arms.
“Tsh, you’re no fun,” he teases, but there’s a note of respect in his voice. 
Ignoring his comment, you square your shoulders. “I need to know how to find them, Gojo.”
His hand flies to his chest. “Ouch.” You roll your eyes. “Alright, alright,” he relents, running a hand through his hair. “A deal’s a deal.” He casually leans back against the bar, his tone turning back to business. “You want to find the vampires? The best way is to start with the hunters.”
You frown in confusion. “Hunters? …Vampire hunters?”
He nods, looking at you like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You find the hunters, you find the vampires.” His voice is calm, but the words hit you like a train.
Oh, this is real. 
Very, very real. 
And your blood runs cold at the weight of your situation, of what you’re getting into.
Your friend wasn’t just caught up in some strange myth or superstition.
You’re not just playing detective anymore.
It was one thing to try to be brave and find out what happened, but it was another to step into the world of those who hunted them, those who lived every moment of their existence on the edge of life and death—purposely seeking out something so dangerous that they have to be exterminated.
“What? You scared now?” His head tilts, noticing your hesitation. “It’s simple,” he laughs, “You get in with them, you’re as good as gold.” And though his words offer the solution you’ve been searching for, they also bring a chilling new reality. And you have to decide if you’ll really ready cross a line you can never uncross.
You swallow hard, your mouth suddenly dry. “And how do I find them?”
Gojo grins. “You don’t find them, sweetheart.” He pushes off the bar. “They find you.” He takes a few slow steps towards you. “Especially someone like you. They’ll practically smell the desperation.”
Your eyes narrow at his comment. Desperation? You’ve been called worse.
Nevertheless, your heart hammers in your chest, each beat trying to signal your impending doom. 
“So, what? I just wait around for them to find me?” Frustration creeps into your tone.
Gojo waves his hand. “No, no, no,” he laughs. “You need to be smarter than that.” And he becomes more serious. “Make yourself known in the right circles. Go to the places they frequent. Show them you’re not someone they can just ignore. Play the part.” And you’re quick to pull out your phone and jot down the few places he rattles off.
As you type, a heaviness creeps in—a strange air shifting between you and Gojo. He notices how tired you look, the way your shoulders slightly sag, how your sigh carries the weight of exhaustion. This whole ordeal has felt like one long rollercoaster, but this is just the beginning of your even more difficult journey. 
But something feels off, and when you glance up from your phone, you catch Gojo’s eye.
There’s no more teasing. No more smirking. He’s watching you with something else, something that feels heavy yet unreadable. And it clicks weird when a vibe passes through the both of you, simultaneously realizing that the time to part ways has come. 
And you’re just as lost now as you were then about how to say goodbye. 
It almost feels bittersweet watching him return to the table where this all started. 
“Don’t.” He plops down, sensing what you’re about to say. “I’ve never been good at those.” And though it flashes through your mind that he’s been bitter for six years because you never did the first time, you respect his wish and don’t say it this time either, only pursing your lips and offering a slight nod.
When you turn to leave, Gojo calls after you. 
“Be careful.” His voice is softer now, almost concerned, and you look back to glance at him, caught off-guard by the sudden shift in his tone. “But I don’t have to tell you that,” he smiles, a sparkle flashing on his glasses as he pushes them up.
You softly laugh, glancing down at your hands to fiddle with your fingers, trying to swallow the thanks welling up in your throat. The last thing you want is to make this moment any more awkward than it already is—as if this entire night hasn’t been batshit crazy. 
Gojo may have made your life a living hell for one of the most pivotal times of your youth, but he’s also one of the most unforgettable things that’s ever happened to you. And it’s in this moment that you finally decide that maybe…that wasn’t so bad. 
…Fuck it. You decide to say something anyway. 
But when you turn back to look at him, he’s gone. His scent, his aura—the restaurant still and lifeless. Chilling…because it’s never felt so…warm.
“...Thank you,” you whisper to the empty space he left behind, the words feeling almost weightless as you slowly exit the restaurant for what may actually be the last time, and the doors close behind you with a quiet click.
Stepping outside into the warm New Orleans air feels so different now like you’ve left something behind in that old restaurant. 
Maybe it’s Satoru.
Maybe it’s a part of yourself that knows things will never quite be the same after this.
It feels like you’ve just spent eternity trapped behind those vintage green doors, and now the world outside looks both familiar and frightening, but the night air hits you like a fresh start.
You're really going to do this. You're going to find the hunters, and through them, the vampires. And then... well, you’ll deal with that when the time comes.
After all, you've already faced a devil, and you're still standing. 
What's a few vampires compared to that?
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angel's note: bwahahaha, why do i even bother trying to condense things? ghost gojo was not supposed to have his own part, let alone (blank)K WORDS, he enjoyed reader waaaaay more than intended but obviously, i am not in control of my own stories. but yoooo, first and foremost, the BIGGEST of fucking s/o to @blkkizzat for helping me bring this story to fruition. i told her that i wanted to do a sugucho vampire fic and she said "bitch, where's ghost gojo??" so you have her to thank for this absolutely delectable first part
no worries tho, it's nothing but vampires and blood-sucking 🩸 from here on out, so drop ya name below if you want to be added to the tag list|sidenote: this post lining up with the full moon was not on purpose 😶 graphic credits: fangs banner (anitalenia)|glitter blood divider (violentbudd)|halloween MDNI divider (meeeee :3)|animated red divider (cafekitsune)
art credits: Sugu: 1 (hidouuc) 2 (blobfishswims) 3 (rice5x)|Cho: 1 (yappdoll) 2 (n/a) 3 (koshinomli) 4 (zeilorene)| Toru: 1 (_3aem) 2 (jjk_myaa) 3 (nala_bert) 4 (yurriima)
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percdi0r · 11 months ago
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I can’t help but notice that he still wears our ring in photos, you are nothing but a past time for him.
It’s quite desperate how you settle for someone that clearly doesn’t love you as much as he says he does, if at all.
lol go fuck your self, all the shit you’ve been sending makes it so obvious on who this is, taken someone away? first of all, you broke up with him because you weren’t able to emotionally manipulate him anymore, because you can’t figure yourself out, and didnt you meet someone new within 3 days of him leaving? And caught feelings for the new guy but assured your partner at the time that he’s got nothing to worry about? didn’t you start all of this because you met someone new but also wanted to keep your partner at the time? that’s wild but anyways
second of all, you can’t claim someone to be yours and then treat them like absolute shit, then love bomb them, and THEN play victim card while dismissing the other person when they express how they feel and how you’ve hurt them lol hun that’s not how it works please be fr.
third, you wanna say you have more balls than to leave hate anonymously bc it’s above you etc, that you’d rather be direct, that is so funny bc you can’t even handle the fact that i said i should be the one giving you shit and you blocked me shortly? but didn’t you say that you wanted to crack my skull open to him, BUT NOT DIRECTLY TO ME? if you’ve got the balls like you claim to then unblock me and say it, or come back to town and say it to me upfront.
and don’t think i don’t know about the rest of the shit you’ve said to him lmao “ i know a broken person when i see one” bitch be fr have you looked at yourself then? you have no room to say that type of shit when your life seems to be in shambles lmfao that’s embarrassing af to call someone broken, but also be a massive hypocrite bc that was as weak as your head game
figure yourself out and hop off my dick bc sending hate on TUMBLR instead of directly coming at me is above your pay grade, right? i’ve seen all the messages, you aren’t slick. you literally exposed yourself while trying to prove that it wasn’t you that sent that, now that is amusing as fuck.
anyways, this is the last bit of attention i’m giving you, so leave us the fuck alone and please stop trying to manipulate him lmao “ i just wanted to hear your voice” “ i thought you loved me” LMAOOOOO PLEASEEEEEE BE FR I THOUGHT YOU WERE SMARTER THAN THIS 😭😭😭😭
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neteluvr-library · 2 years ago
Text
ANDRA BBY IM SO SORRY FOR THE SPAM AGAIN BUT LIKE....it must be done???? i dont make the rules ): don't mind me cruising through illicit affairs. now it is currently 1 am so if im a little unhinged now so please excuse my thoughts AHAHAHAH
Just you and me. Just you and me. Just you and me. 
ANDRA YOU CHEEKY BASTARD YOU!!!!!!! im gonna have to find every "just you and me" reference now.
You’d recognise this voice anywhere, for the rest of your life, this voice was going to be able to pull you out of the deepest shadows and into the light. You opened your eyes and willed them to focus past the tears, past the blood you could feel on your hands and feet and focus on the blue form talking to you.
SEFEHUGHBKRBJSGJRGBOENGFOBR IM FUCKING CRYING ITS TOO SWEET....but *spoilers for the archer* I LOVE HOW ATAN'S VOICE ALSO PULLED NETEYAM OUT OF HIS COMATOSE DREAMLIKE STATE IN THE ARCHER ): like everything really is a circle for them. they are A CIRCLE FOREVER CONNECTED FOR INFNITY
“Breathe. Take slow, deep breaths, can you do that for me? I need you to give me a sign you can hear me, Atan (light). Please, please.”
THE FIRST ATAN OF MANY??? THE FIRST CHARACTER NAME WE GET FOR Y/N????? not about illicit affairs but MiM...but im really glad Y/N has Vi as her nickname now like after atan and vol, it just didn't seem right that MiM y/n didn't have a name?? what else were we gonna refer to her as? SHE NEEDED A NICKNAME ATAN, VOL, AND VI ARE THE HOLY TRINITY. makes me wonder if y/n in false god will have an iconic nickname 😝
Your new body fit into his like the final piece of the puzzle you were both trying to solve all your lives. 
GGODAMN IT THIS IS TOO GOOD.
He was bawling now, bringing his knees to his chest and settling his head on them. “I feel like my being in her life will kill her.”
OOOF THIS PART!!! This scene is one of the best in illicit affairs because it gives great insight in why neteyam and atan's relationship is so straight. He's very noble in his reasoning and i think its logical. If atan is constantly hurt when he's around, he must be the issue right? WRONG!!!!! like seriously why did he think leaving was the best choice 😭 but also to know he loves her so much he is willing to leave her at the small chance of making her life easier (except it didn't) is so !!!!! (no words--sorry its 1 am). ITS LITERALLY JUST UNFORTUNATE COINCIDENCES AHHHHHHHHHH. i picture neteyam sobbing and heaving and it makes me so sad pls i want to hold him forever and reassure him that NO DO NOT LEAVE ATAN PLEASEEEEEE
“Your dad and I have not said anything until now, because we know. We’ve always known how you felt for her. And we wish that she could have been Na’vi, that this could happen for you, son, but maybe this is a sign from Eywa to look towards the future, to start finding your true mate, one who will not make you feel like this when you are around her. Love is not supposed to hurt, my son.”
OUCH because I actually feel very offended that Neytiri would even suggest that Neteyam's love for Atan is hurting him. Like yes, it is hurting him. But not in a way that's toxic and harmful. I think he just loves Atan so much that it is overwhelming and powerful which would cause him to be emotional and feel everything at a heightened level. Not because its Eywa's sign that his and Atan's love is not good ): ALSO LMFAO AT THE DIFFERENCE IN TPYINH FROM THIS NOTE COMPARED TO THE LAST....you can tell i feel serious when i start using formal punctuation and grammar HAHAAH
You couldn’t take another dream, another anything, so, popping two Xanax pills, you crashed your head into the pillow and hoped for a peaceful blackout. 
This may be controverisal...but i love Atan's drug addiction? NOT because I'm romanticizing it but I think its a very accurate portrayal of what depression can do you and i think it added a level of intensity that you don't see often in literature and fanfics. Like...how many times does the female main character have a drug addiction? I really enjoy the intensity of it because it adds a layer of rawness (I'm sorry I use this word a lot but i think its very applicable to your writing) and depth that i like to see in female characters. NOT ALL WOMEN ARE PRISTINE AND PERFECT AND GRACEFUL like yes we suffer too and sometimes that suffering manifest in less than pretty ways
“Ow, ow, ow!! Kiri, stop that! They were next to my sleeping bag, don’t leave your shit everywhere if you don’t want people to step on it.” 
“NOT PEOPLE, LO’AK. YOU! IT’S ALWAYS YOU!”
HAHAHAH I LOVE THIS ITS SO FUNNY. BEST BROTHER SISTER DUO GOES TO LOAK AND KIRI
You saw it in yourself and your day to day struggle to empty your cup, your mind always looking for meaning, and answers, and ways to fix and analyse and quantify. Always requiring proof, never being able to just be and watch and observe things and beings for what they are, not what they could be.
This is very profound and fitting for human nature. We need to THINK less and SEE more.
He was gone most evenings while you had dinner with his family, and would only come back soon before you made your way to your tent.
This small detail. SOMETHING THAT SEEMS SO inconsequential....BUT IS NOT. i didn't pay attention to this line at first, but on my second read of illicit affairs i caught onto it 😒 you think you're funny planting these small details HUH?!?!??!!?
In it, you were weak, plagued by all your insecurities and fears and nightmares, all of which came out at night.
Same 🥰
“Well, it has a camera sight on the top for better aim and targeting. It has a second grip for better firing stability and has a long barrel that allows for higher muzzler velocity. Like most weapons used by humans, it can also fire 0226-LSAR ammo, and a grande launcher can be attached to the second grip.”
BABY IM SO SORRY I HAVE TO ADMIT THIS BUT...my brain did not process this at all when i first read this. i was like okay cool, BUT THEN YOU SAID YOU DID THE MOST RESEARCH ON GUNS AND I FELT SO BAD FOR NOT APPRECIATING IT. LIKE IT JUST ADDS SO MUCH MORE TO THE STORY AND IM FOREVER IN AWE OF HOW DEDICATED YOU ARE TO WRITING AND YOUR LORE? it didn't compute in my brain that you actually had to research this like ofc you didn't know this info out of your ass?
Jake has tried to be your dad for a long time and you just couldn’t bring yourself to allow that kind of love in your life anymore, not after knowing what it’s like to lose it. 
LET HIM IN YOU BIG DUMBO!!!!!! the truth is, you can crave something so bad (love) while simultaneously driving it away and that's exactly what atan is doing ): ... again same girl same 🥰 i also run away from what i want most bc of my insecurities 🥰
Pushing the knife against his throat, you applied pressure and made a cut. The boy tried his best to recoil, but the men did a better job at keeping him down than you thought they would. You took the knife and placed it on the ground, then took the syringe Lo’ak gave you and hollowed it out.
THIS PART TOO? LIKE YOU HAD TO RESEACH IT AND I WAS LIKE OH OKAY SHE JUST AUTOMATICALLY KNEW HOW TO DESCRIBE A TRACHEOSTOMY?? THATS A LOT OF RESEARCH FOR ONE CHAPTER. just know i appreciate it now!!!!!!
You were an angel. There was so much hurt and darkness in you, but somehow you managed to spread light everywhere you went. No matter how hard life got, you never lost the desire to do good, to be good, and Neteyam didn’t think he could love you any more than he did right at that second. 
WAHHHHH IM GONNA CRY ): NETEYAM ALWAYS THINKS THE SWEETEST MOST ENDEARING THINGS ABOUT ATAN. THAT IS A MAN IN LOVE!!! atan...light...angel...spread light. i aspire to be like atan and i hope i can radiate light like her even tho im struggling mentally AHAHAHA ):
“It was supposed to be done for your birthday, but it took me a lot longer than I thought carving the wood.” 
this is so cute but also the thought of a na'vi sized guitar is hilarious. that shit is a weapon. LITTLE SONGBIRD ATAN ❣️
I have this dream you're doing cool shit
Having adventures on your own
You meet some woman on the internet and take her home
We never painted by the numbers, baby
But we were making it count
You know the greatest loves of all time are over now
GIRL FUCK YOU 😭😭 TIOEFJWIGSNINONHJOGOB S I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS????? I LITERALLY DONT REMEBER THE 1 BEING IN ILLICIT AFFAIRS. IM SOBBING BECAUSE I CAN ONLY ASSOCIATE THIS SONG WITH NETEYAM AND VOL NOW GHIHOIBA IM AHHHHHHHHHH it does fit very well in this scene. THE 1 GIVES ME SUCH A GUT REACTION I CANT ITS LIKE A TRIGGER BUT ALSO I LOVE IT SM WHYNWOULD YOU DO THIS ?
You didn’t realise you forgot to put a mask on in your distracted state, and with the hood prepped and ready to go, you removed the blood from the fridge where you kept it while everything you ready and made your way to your work station.
OOP- 😈
this was actually super longjfongnbaIG OKAY ITS ALMOST 2 AM SO IM DEFINITELY GOING TO SLEEP BUT I LOVE THIS CHAPTER BECAUSE ITS THE CATALYST FOR ALL THE SHIT THATS ABOUT TO GO DOWN AND I LIVE FOR THE CHAOS AND ANGST AHHHHHHHH
Illicit Affairs | Chapter V: All Too Well
Pairing: Neteyam x Human/Avatar!Reader
Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X
Synopsis: Neteyam's life changed when you came into his life the first time, and is now bound to change again, in ways neither of you could have ever predicted.
Warnings: angst, mentions of death, descriptions of ptsd flashbacks, cursing, blood, descriptions of surgical procedures, some fluff.
Word Count: 9k words (wow)
A/N: Chapter 5 is coming out a little earlier than expected because I am too excited to wait. We finally get to discover a little more about what Neteyam's gone through and his decision to leave, so super chuffed about that. I am working really hard trying to balance writing for this and being a PhD student, but I am happy with the progress I am making and hope to be done with Chapter 6 in a couple days' time. Things are quickly unfolding, and there is a looot happening in this chapter, so I hope you enjoy <3 I'd love to hear your thoughts x
From when your Brooklyn broke my skin and bones I'm a soldier who's returning half her weight And did the twin flame bruise paint you blue? Just between us, did this love affair maim you too?
“Fuck, fuck fuck!” Neteyam ran faster than he knew he could and kneeled next to you. He was panting in heart-stopping fear, watching your shaking form and hearing your pained wails that were opening out so many holes in his chest, the pain was unbearable. He forced himself to try and remember what to do; this wasn’t your first flashback, this wasn’t the first flashback he’s had to walk you through. One, do not touch the person experiencing a PTSD flashback. Done. Two?
“Y/N. It’s me, it’s Neteyam, listen to me. You are with me in the the forest a couple clicks North-west of the village. It’s just you and me, there’s nothing happening to you right now. You’re safe. It’s just you and me.”
Just you and me. Just you and me. Just you and me. 
Everything hurt. You just wanted it over, you wanted everything to be over. You couldn’t hear or see anything around you, except yourself in a past you’d do anything to forget about. 
Just you and me. Just you and me. Just you and me. 
“It’s me. Hey, it’s me. You’re ok. We’re ok. You are with me now, you’re safe. Please come back.”
You’d recognise this voice anywhere, for the rest of your life, this voice was going to be able to pull you out of the deepest shadows and into the light. You opened your eyes and willed them to focus past the tears, past the blood you could feel on your hands and feet and focus on the blue form talking to you.
“Breathe. Take slow, deep breaths, can you do that for me? I need you to give me a sign you can hear me, Atan (light). Please, please.”
You tried your best to do as you were told. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Remembering his request, you nodded almost imperceptibly.
“I’m here. You’re safe. Please come back. It’s just you and me.” 
Just you and me. Just you and me. Just you and me. 
Neteyam… 
You slowly moved your hands, searching, desperately needing the feel of his warmth on you. He knew, he always knew. Without the smallest hesitation, he grabbed both of your hands in his. You looked at him, finally able to see in front of you, see what was real. He was real. Your tears fell freely down your cheeks, and without a second thought, you removed your hands from his and felt your arms reach out for him, for all of him. You hugged him tightly and sighed a breath of relief when he closed whatever space was left between you and held you close. Your new body fit into his like the final piece of the puzzle you were both trying to solve all your lives. 
You didn’t say a word. The world was moving on around you, but not you. You and Neteyam stood there, in the little corner of Pandora that suddenly felt a lot like a safe haven in the storm. 
“You’re ok to get up?” 
“Yeah, thank you.”
“Do you want me to carry you back?”
“No, thank you. I can walk.”
It was too late to continue training and you silently made your way back to the village. You felt embarrassed, and so you walked with your head down the whole way back. You knew there was nothing to be embarrassed about, there was nothing to be ashamed of, and yet, going back on your first day in this new body, having been given a second chance at a new life, you were disappointed that your nightmares didn’t seem to care which version of you they had to go through to resurface.��
“Are you alright?” 
“I’m fine, Neteyam. I’m sorry you had to see that. I’m sorry you always seem to be around when these things happen.” 
If only you knew how sorry he was that he was always around when these things happen.
He couldn’t be sure, but he can guess what triggered your flashbacks. He couldn’t lie and say that day didn’t haunt his dreams, too.
Neteyam made his way back to the village that evening shaking and in tears, and wanted nothing more to take his Ikran far away to a place no one would be able to find him. But alas, he took his bow from the stand in the family tent and slipped out unnoticed while everyone else was having a communal dinner by the bonfire. He walked furiously, still shaking, still crying, until he reached the training grounds he used to go to every day when he was younger. He saw broken arrows on the ground next to some of the targets and felt it was fitting for how he was feeling. Broken, like no amount of care could ever bring him back to the arrow he was currently holding in his hands. He made quick work of the targets he could easily spot, then worked his way through the harder ones until his body ached and his fingers bled from all the now-opened scabs. 
“Ma ‘itan (my son).” He heard a voice break through the shadows of the now fluorescent flora surrounding him. He saw his mum’s steps before he actually saw her, and turned his back to her before she could see him, truly see him.
Neytiri approached him slowly and gently took the bow from his hands. She placed it around her body and placed her arms on her son, one on his back and one on his chest, above his heart. 
“What is the matter, son?” 
“Nothing, mother. I will come home soon, I promise.” 
She reached over and wiped away her son’s tears with her thumb. 
“Please, tell me what happened.” 
Neteyam couldn’t hide anymore when a small guttural cry escaped his lips. His mum slowly moved him away from the practice area and sat him down on the grass, that illuminated under their weight. 
“Mum, I’m killing her.” 
He was bawling now, bringing his knees to his chest and settling his head on them. “I feel like my being in her life will kill her.”
“Y/N?” 
“Every time we are together, something happens to her that breaks her even more. She found her dad, mum. She found her dad’s skeleton racing me through the forest. I almost killed her once because I wanted to get her out and show her the forest, so I almost killed her on my Ikran.”
“Ma ‘itan…”
“She wouldn’t go outside if it wasn’t for me. I push her to go, because I hate seeing her like this, seeing her wasting away in a lab, I just want her to be better, and happy and free, like she used to be when we were kids. I push her to go, and every time it ends up making it worse.”
Neytiri waited for her son to release all the worry plaguing him. Her son kept everything inside, but if you were patient enough with him, he would let you in eventually. 
“Neteyam… you can’t blame yourself for these things. You had no way of knowing how these things would turn out. Yes, it was irresponsible to take her on the Ikran, but you were a child. You wanted to help, and she loved being on it. She told me it was the best thing she had ever done, and that she is grateful that you thought to take her with you. Your strong heart saved both of you from Toruk. I am sorry about what happened today, that must have been really hard on her, but you were just walking trough the forest together. Any other place on Pandora, and this wouldn’t have happened. This was just a horrible misfortune, but it’s not your misfortune to bear.”
Neteyam was crying so hard he felt himself running out of breath. 
“You didn’t see her, mum. I saw her, laying unconscious on the ground. I saw the blood, so much blood I didn’t even think such a small person could carry it. I thought she died. I have nightmares about that night that I will never be able to outgrow. You should have seen her today. She was shaking and screaming and clawing at her feet so hard, she won’t be able to walk for weeks. Why must everything bad in the world must happen to her, mum?”
“We don’t know what Eywa has in store, ma ‘itan. She protects the balance of life, and maybe there is a reason for all this hurt. We can only help her the best way we know how, by loving her and being there for her. We have to hope that that’s enough.” 
“I don’t think I can do that anymore, mum. I don’t think I can watch her suffer anymore. It’s killing me. I love her, mum. I love her so much and there is nothing I want more in the world than to take her hurt and make it go away.”
“Neteyam, I think sometimes it is better to realise a hard truth early than live with a comfortable reality until the cracks in your heart are too deep to ever be able to be mended. Maybe both of you just need some time apart, to grow and heal on your own. I know you love her, Neteyam. But she will never be yours. She’s not one of us, son. You will never be able to be mated. I know you love her, but she is human. So maybe some time apart will allow you to move on, and then you can be there for her, as her friend, as someone who can help her navigate this life whilst living your own.”
“Your dad and I have not said anything until now, because we know. We’ve always known how you felt for her. And we wish that she could have been Na’vi, that this could happen for you, son, but maybe this is a sign from Eywa to look towards the future, to start finding your true mate, one who will not make you feel like this when you are around her. Love is not supposed to hurt, my son.”
He looked over to the girl walking close to him, the girl who was now no longer just a human, but an Avatar, a girl who had a chance to be one of the people one day, but whose demons did not diminish over time at all, and he wondered if they ever will. 
Soon enough, the lights of the village came into view and you were not ready to have to talk to anybody, explain to anybody when there were no words to describe the pain and anguish inside your heart. You wanted sleep, a deep sleep that wouldn’t cease in the morning. 
“How about you just go to your tent for the night? You can catch up with the family tomorrow morning. I will tell them you worked really hard and since this was your first day in a new body, you just need some rest.” 
You let out a big sigh of relief, and nodded silently at Neteyam, grateful and unnerved at his uncanny ability to understand your needs almost better than you were able to understand them yourself.
“Irayo (Thank you).”
Your tent felt cold and uninviting when you entered it, but you couldn’t be bothered to think about it too hard, and, as you let yourself collapse on the mat that would qualify as a bed for the foreseeable future, you thought about all the new challenges that dawn will bring. 
“That’s right, come on back, Ace. That’s it.” 
The light was blinding you, as your eyes adjusted to your newfound environment. You groaned slightly and removed the metal cage trapping you to the linkpod. With heavy legs, you got up and stretched your body as well as you could, trying to ignore the tingling of your limbs as the blood flowed through them properly for the first time in over half a day. 
“So, how was it?” Norm was almost besides himself excited, and you knew you had to lie, because telling him it was one of the hardest, most excruciating days of your life might dampen the current mood. 
“Hard, but a lot of fun! I learnt to ride a Pa’li, and Tsaheylu is unlike anything I have ever experienced. There really is nothing like it in this body that can compare.” 
“Ah, I’m glad to hear it. Do you have plans for tomorrow?”
“I think just more of the same? I’ll start learning how to shoot a bow soon, too. I, for one, think I’ll kick ass at it.” You said, hoping your amused tone and sly comments were enthusiastic enough to be perceived as authentic. 
“I’m sure you will, Ace. You off to bed?”
“Yeah, I’m exhausted.” 
Your human face staring back at you in the mirror looked somewhat better than the muddy, cried-out one you left behind at the village, but that doesn’t mean much when both bodies shared a soul, one that looked much worse than either of them could ever reflect. 
You couldn’t take another dream, another anything, so, popping two Xanax pills, you crashed your head into the pillow and hoped for a peaceful blackout. 
The next day, you were back in your Avatar body before dawn, and made your way towards the Sully tent, dedicated to make this work. It took a while to get the mud off your body at the nearby river, but eventually you thought you looked presentable enough to go ahead with the day. You promised Lo’ak, and Jake, and Norm, and yourself, that you would make this work, or at least give it a good college try. 
“Can I come in?” You remember to speak in Na’vi, and find the family eating breakfast around the fire. 
“Lo’ak you skxawng, you stepped on the herbs I spent all of yesterday collecting.” Kiri was screaming at Lo’ak and hitting him across the arm while he was trying to defend himself as best he could from the continuous onslaught.
“Ow, ow, ow!! Kiri, stop that! They were next to my sleeping bag, don’t leave your shit everywhere if you don’t want people to step on it.” 
“NOT PEOPLE, LO’AK. YOU! IT’S ALWAYS YOU!” 
“Bro, remove your girl before she maims me.” Lo’ak directed his attention to the human boy sitting in the corner, just laughing and enjoying the show.
You couldn’t help laugh at the scene, fondly remembering all the times Lo’ak and Kiri bickered like twins - there was no doubt in your mind these two were made to be siblings. 
Neteyam, sitting in a corner in silence, sharpening his knife, glanced up at you inquisitively. You didn’t like how intimate his gaze felt and with the perspective of a new day, you knew it was a mistake to allow him so close to you yesterday, to allow yourself to touch him and hug him and pull his body close to yours like he was your life support machine. A mistake. You don’t make mistakes. 
“Maite, come, sit, eat.” Neytiri came in and pushed you closer to the fire, placing her hands on your shoulders and forcing you to sit. She gave you fruits and seeds and motioned for you to go ahead. “Tell me how yesterday went! Neteyam told us you are much better at your Pa’li training than their dad ever was.” 
“Hey, I can hear you, you know?” Jake said, taking a break from cleaning a rifle to scowl lovingly at the mother of his children. 
“Well, I can’t speak to Jake’s proficiency, but I think it went well. Great Mother, the Tsaheylu was one of the most incredible experiences of my life, I never knew it was possible for a feeling like that to exist.” 
“Wait til you bond with an Ikran.” Lo’ak interjected. “It’s fucking awesome.” 
“LANGUAGE!” Said Jake at the same time Neytiri sent a hiss in her younger son’s direction. 
You and Neteyam made your way to the archery practice area. There were many people there, most of them accompanying their young kids learning to use a bow and arrow for the first time, learning to one day be able to pull their weight for the sake of the village and their loved ones. You stared in awe at the determination these children had, how unwavering and brightly it shone. It must be nice to be sure of the life ahead of you, be sure of your purpose and your future. 
“Right. Unlike Spider, you have not had any practice with our bows, so we have to go back to basics. There are things you always have to keep in mind when you shoot an arrow, and these things will take time. In time, it will become second nature to you, but practice makes perfect - although true for anything, it is especially true in this case.”
“First, your stance.” 
He removed his bow from around his body and demonstrated. You couldn’t help stare at him, couldn’t help trace your eyes all over his body, that was now fully on display for you, and adjusted your posture to now accommodate for the heat you felt in between your thighs at the sight. Fuck. 
He smirked at you and dropped the stance. “I’m going to need you to focus. Can you do that?”
You raised an eyebrow and looked at him, an annoyed look crossing you features. “Yes, I can do that. Don’t patronise me.”
He raised his hands, as if relenting, and apologised with a small smile. 
You raised the bow you were holding in your right hand and try to mimic his posture the best you could. He circled you, analysing every aspect of your stance, his gaze pausing on some aspects more than others. 
“Your knees are too straight. You have to bend them a little.” You did as you were told, no questions asked. You trusted he knew what he was talking about more than you’d ever be able to argue him on. 
One of his legs made his way between yours and slightly tugged at one, and you hissed at the contact. “Your feet need to be aligned with your shoulders.”
“Your feet also need to be parallel to the target.” You adjusted your feet slightly, focusing on trying to assimilate everything he was saying. You were nothing if not a good student. 
“Good. Remember, good stance means good posture, means consistent good shots.” 
He was a good teacher, you noted. Calm and patient, he took his time and never talked down to you. He explained well and was attentive to details, and you couldn’t help think this is, once again, proof of Neytiri and the clan’s influence on him. Whereas his two younger siblings were chaotic and a lot more human in their demeanour and behaviour, Neteyam was quiet, focused and determined. A true leader, a true warrior. The perfect son, Lo’ak words ring in your ears. 
He circled you once more, and you noticed your arms were starting to get tired. You didn’t complain, though. You were not going to be weak - couldn’t be weak. 
He placed a hand on your back and the other on one of your shoulders, willing them back in a straight position. Your body buzzed at the contact and you had to suppress a shiver running down your spine. “Your back always has to be straight. Not hunched, but not over-arched, either.” 
He placed both his hands on your hips, and you froze into place. His figure was towering over you, you could feel him, feel his warmth radiating on your back. He kept his distance, so as to not attach himself to you, and gently pulled your hips backwards. Your breath was laboured now, you knew, and let out a silent prayer that he couldn’t hear you, couldn’t hear your heart beat that you were sure was so loud it was noticeable within a 2 click radius. 
“Your hips have to be straight, too. No bending them forwards or backwards.” 
This went on for a while, just a slow torture that you thought was never going to end, until at some point, a few hours later, he finally allowed you to shoot an arrow. The pain you felt in between your shoulder blades and arms was nearing unbearable, but still, you soldiered on. You tried to keep in mind everything he told you all at once, and with a (hopefully) correct stance, posture, grip and bow arm, it was time to work on your release. Your fingers were cramping from holding the bow so tightly in between them, and with a slight whimper, you let go. 
He followed the arrow with his eyes, all the way through the air and past the target, getting stuck on the ground somewhere beyond view. He turned his attention back to you. 
“That was not horrible. Your arm is too low.” he says while gently placing a hand on your arrow-holding arm and moving it upward, furthering the pain you felt in between your shoulder blades. He moved his hand downwards and placed it on your abdomen. You gulped, and saw the ghost of a smile on his face. “Your core is not engaged, Y/N. Take a deep breath.” He waited for you to do as you were told. “Hold like this. Txur nì'ul. Stronger.”He didn’t remove his hand, that damn hand, until he was satisfied with your form, then let go. “Again.”
You spent your days like this, training, running, discovering Pandora’s flora and fauna, not as a scientist, but as a hunter and as an apprentice, with timid curiosity and appreciation for the life in front of you. For the first time in your life, you tried to see beyond the science and really see the miracles happening around you. Neteyam told you something on one of your walks that stuck with you. 
“When you see nothing, you will see everything.”
You see more and more why scientists, why your mother or Grace, or Norm or Max, could never make it here. It wasn’t because of survival, or training, or skill. You saw it in yourself and your day to day struggle to empty your cup, your mind always looking for meaning, and answers, and ways to fix and analyse and quantify. Always requiring proof, never being able to just be and watch and observe things and beings for what they are, not what they could be. This was all so unfamiliar to you, so strange, and you wondered if you were ever going to be able to see. 
After a while, the novelty of you, your alien body and blood ceased to be news to people and you were able to now be in the village without as much attention drawn to you, although the eyes never stopped completely. Not when you were always surrounded by at least one Sully, more often than not the two Sully brothers, the heirs to the Omatikaya rule. There was chatter in the village, you knew, about whether you were ever going to make it as one of the people, and how that would impact the future of the clan. Would they want yet another former Sky Walker as an integral part of their life, as their Tsahik, perhaps? 
The whispers of the people bothered you, but not enough to do anything about it. You knew they were baseless and premature, and had no intention of entertaining them. Lo’ak was your best friend, your brother that you loved and you knew loved you, and whatever other feelings he might have, you knew were just a side effect of hormonal growing pains. Lo’ak would outgrow you in time, and you were there to support him whenever he found a love worth harbouring. Neteyam, on the other hand, was a completely different story. The resentment you felt has never diminished in time, although the ice did melt a little after your fateful first day together. You made no efforts to engage with him outside of practice and he reciprocated the effort (or lack thereof) with the same enthusiasm. He was gone most evenings while you had dinner with his family, and would only come back soon before you made your way to your tent. You didn’t hate each other, but that was about the extent of your relationship. The intensity and heat you felt every time he touched you or looked at you in a certain way has also never diminished in time, but you knew yourself and your body enough to be able to resist him, at least until nighttime, when you were a human again and had a bed to yourself. 
You spent your nights mostly by yourself in the lab, determined to not fall behind on your lab work. You found having to have two completely different approaches to life very difficult, but in time, it was like you became two different people. You don’t think they’d like each other very much. Your life was split in two, and the bodies you inhabited made it easier on you to differentiate between the two halves. Your human body was weak, progressively weaker as time went on and you forsook the time to exercise it. In it, you were weak, plagued by all your insecurities and fears and nightmares, all of which came out at night. Your Avatar body was strong, progressively stronger with every day you spent running and training in the forest. In it, you were strong. A warrior, proud and determined and eager to learn. You laughed, and danced, and made conversation and learnt how to craft your own necklaces with Kiri whenever training with Neteyam got too much. You took Lo’ak by the hands and dragged him through the forest, laughing and swinging through trees. You took to Mo’at and tried to learn the healing ways of the Tsahik, as opposed to your mother’s medical training. Life was heaven in one body and hell in the other, and you couldn't tell which one haunted you more.
“Again.” Neteyam spoke over the voices of kids practising their target practice next to them. He had to admit to himself he was impressed with your progress. He knew he shouldn’t be, you were the most impressive and stubborn person he had ever met. He used to watch you patch and suture the Avatars in the lab when you were 13. They said your stitches were the best amongst the remaining humans. He watched you go from a child to a woman who seemed to know everything there was to know about everything. He didn’t know why he didn’t realise before this was going to be the same. You were irksome. 
You shot another bullseye and turned around to face him, smiling cockily and did a curtsy, he thought it was called. He rolled his eyes, but smiled at your satisfaction. 
“You can keep me here all day, I’ll just keep doing it, if not for anything else, just to spite you.” 
“Fine, we’re done. You are dismissed.” 
You raised an eyebrow at him, in that way you always did, that way that drove him fucking crazy. Being next to you every day was driving him crazy. He didn’t know what hell he must have inflicted on a past life to warrant this. Always watching you, and knowing that stolen glances will always have to be enough. 
You started making your way back towards the village, and he followed you. It was such a stark contrast to your first day in this body. You looked confident, and happy. He wondered if it was real, if it was possible that it was indeed that easy, and being here, outside with them was enough to wash your nightmares away, to heal you. He felt a flicker of hope raising in his chest. Stop, Neteyam. What the fuck are you doing?
The village was quiet at this time of day, most people gone on hunts or rides or training. Neteyam heard his dad’s voice booming in the family tent and knew Lo’ak was in deep shit again. He sighed. Baby brother, why do you always have to make things so hard?
“Dammit, Lo’ak, we went through this for a month. A whole ass month. What is this called?” 
When you and Neteyam entered the tent, you found the two Sullys sitting on the ground, with the patriarch towering over Lo’ak with a gun in his hand. 
“I don’t know, sir.” 
“I don’t want to hear that. Do you fucking understand what we’re doing here? Do you understand the humans could be back any fucking day now? War is coming, do you understand this, boy? And you will straighten up, Lo’ak, or I swear to God you will not be allowed to ride an Ikran again for the rest of your life.” 
“Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.” 
Neteyam felt you wince at his dad’s words, and he knew you felt bad for his brother. He did so, too. But also understood that his dad is only trying to make sure they are ready for the time they will inevitably have to go to war. He can’t imagine the pressure on his shoulders at training his own kids to be prepared to avoid their own death and bring death upon others.
“Now, we went through this multiple times. What is this gun?”
He felt the silence bearing down on him, and then heard your voice raise above it.
“It’s a M69-AR, sir. It’s a machine-gun.” 
All eyes in the room snapped shocked to you. You shifted uncomfortably in place, but your gaze did not falter from where you were looking at Jake.
“How do you know that?”
You looked down at the ground, and hesitated before speaking again. 
“I have trained with guns I have found over time for a few years, sir. My dad and the other soldiers in the unit left manuals, training videos, ammo in the lockers. I have found it and learnt about it. I never expected to get an Avatar, but I did not want to be defenceless.”
Neteyam saw his dad and realised he can’t tell what he was thinking at the moment. A mixture of fear, confusion and awe was what he was able to spot. 
“Alright… what’s the caliber of this gun, kid?” 
“.50 caliber BAT.”
“Ok, walk me through the gun’s characteristics.”
You didn’t flinch under the scrutiny of his gaze.
“Well, it has a camera sight on the top for better aim and targeting. It has a second grip for better firing stability and has a long barrel that allows for higher muzzler velocity. Like most weapons used by humans, it can also fire 0226-LSAR ammo, and a grande launcher can be attached to the second grip.”
Lo’ak’s face dropped, and although he had better control over his emotions, Neteyam realised he was also staring at her with a similar expression plastered on his face. 
“Did you ever shoot it?”
“No, I haven’t. I only shoot a standard 8mm handgun, in the woods next to the lab whenever everyone’s preoccupied or out. But I know how to clean it, field-strip it and load it.”
“So nobody knows you’ve been training on guns for years?”
“No, Sir.” 
“I can’t describe to you how stupid and dangerous this was. I didn’t think you of all people were prone to life-threatening idiocy.” 
You felt your gaze harden under his scrutiny and the familiar feel of anger bubbling in your stomach. 
“I’m not a little girl anymore. I will not stand and watch as the humans come back and ruin everything my mother’s fought for and I will not apologise for it.”
You saw Jake stand up, straighten his back and for the first time in your life, you feared the man sitting in front of you.
“Don’t you dare bring your mother into this. Your mother wouldn’t have wanted you to put your life in danger carelessly, getting involved in things you know nothing about. She asked me to take care of you, to teach you. All you had to do was fucking ask. All you had to do is come out of that damn lab and allow us to be part of your life, the way we have wanted to be for years.” 
You felt tears pricking at your eyes and without another word, you turned on your heels and left. 
You entered your tent and closed the flap shut as well as you could, half-considering using one of the suture kits that now resided in it to sew it together so no one can open it. You fell on your sleeping mat with a huff, and took hold of one of the books you have brought to your tent in the couple months you have been here. Your gaze stopped on one of your favourite poems, and repeated the lines to yourself, like a litany needing to be uttered.
“I didn’t want any flowers, I only wanted
To lie with my hands turned up and be utterly empty.
How free it is, you have no idea how free——
The peacefulness is so big it dazes you,
And it asks nothing, a name tag, a few trinkets.
It is what the dead close on, finally; I imagine them   
Shutting their mouths on it, like a Communion tablet.”
You stared at the page for a long time, and let your mind wander. Why would he talk to you this way?
Because he cares about you. 
You thought he would be happy, proud of you for being strong, being independent and self-sufficient. You took care of yourself, you would be able to take care of others, of the people you loved. 
But maybe he doesn’t think you should have to do this by yourself. 
Why should you be ashamed of that? Ho doesn’t understand you, never tried to see things from your perspective. 
Maybe cause you never allowed him to know you enough to be able to understand.
He’s not your dad. He has no right to talk to you this way.
He wanted to be your dad, you just always kept him at arm’s length. You’ve always kept everyone at arms length.
You wanted to slap the version of yourself talking back to you. You really are such an annoying person, sometimes. And you hate that you make sense when you didn’t want to make sense. You wanted to be mad and tell him to keep his bossing around to his own children and leave you be, but you couldn’t. Not when the annoying you was right - Jake has tried to be your dad for a long time and you just couldn’t bring yourself to allow that kind of love in your life anymore, not after knowing what it’s like to lose it. 
A scream coming from the village pulled you out of your train of thought, and you made your way outside in a hurry. 
“Help! Help!!” 
You recognised the voice; Ewoaì, one of the most talented hunters of the village, was running holding a motionless body in his arms. His young brother, you noted. 
“He can’t breathe, he stopped breathing. Please, someone help! Where is the Tsahik?” 
Jake and the Sully boys emerged from inside their tent with a concerned look on all their faces. Neteyam spoke. “The Tsahik and tsakarem are away, at the Tree of Souls. They will not make it back in time.” 
Fuck, you thought. 
“Bring him here, NOW.” You spoke over the commotion. All the people who had gathered to see what was happening turned their gazes to you. Ewoaì ran to you. “Place him on the ground.” 
“Lo’ak.” You looked at the young boy, trying to assess the situation the best you could. You heard Lo’ak make his way towards you. 
“In my tent, there is gauze and disinfectant, it has the name 2% chlorhexidine isopropanol, find it and bring it. There should also be a yellow injection that says EPIPEN on it. Bring a syringe as well, no needle. Hurry.” 
You turned your attention to the man holding his younger brother in his arms. “Remove his necklace, now.” 
You started to check for signs of what was causing his asphyxiation. You opened his mouth and looked inside the best you could for food, or anything else that could be blocking his airways. You didn’t see anything. He didn’t seem to be having an anaphylactic shock; no rash and his heartbeat seemed strong. You were going to have to figure out the cause at a later time, but for now, your best bet, his best bet, was a tracheotomy. 
Lo’ak scrambled out of your tent, almost dropping some of the things on the way. He put them next to you in a hurry. 
You removed your hands from the boy’s body and moved quickly to apply some of the antiseptic on the gauze and wipe his throat with it. You got up, removed your knife from the holder on your chest, and made your way towards the nearest fire. You placed the blade over the fire and hoped that would do enough to sterilise it. For good measure, you also wiped it with the solution currently still on the gauze.
You made your way back to the boy and lifted your gaze to his brother. 
“This is going to hurt. I don’t have the tools to put him to sleep. I need you to hold him tightly by the arms. I need you to be strong for him. Strong heart. Neteyam, hold his feet. Don’t let go.”
You took your knife with one hand, whilst your other hand, tried to find the cricothyroid membrane, hoping it would be in a similar location to a human’s. Pushing the knife against his throat, you applied pressure and made a cut. The boy tried his best to recoil, but the men did a better job at keeping him down than you thought they would. You took the knife and placed it on the ground, then took the syringe Lo’ak gave you and hollowed it out. Carefully, you placed it inside the hole you made. You lowered your body and placed your mouth on the syringe. Sucking on it, you were relieved to feel air coming out, and you started breathing into the tube until you felt the boy starting to breathe again on his own. You removed yourself from his proximity and monitored until you were sure his breathing was stabilised. 
You let out a huge sigh of relief. You finally felt like you could look Ewoaì in the eye. “He’ll be fine.” 
His brother let out a shaky breath and extended his hand in front of you. Smiling softly, you took it in your own and felt his grip tighten at the contact. 
“Thank you. You saved his life. Thank you.”
“You can take him home. I’ll come by later and check on him, and if he’s breathing right, I’ll take it out.” 
You rose from the ground and tried to get your laboured breath to slow down. You did it. Tears started pooling in your eyes and you realise your hands were shaking when you went to wipe the them before they fell. Your attention turned to the Sully men waiting by your side. They all looked like they were -
-in awe. Neteyam was in awe. You were breathtaking. He heard this English word, angel, from his dad, a long time ago, and when he asked what it meant, his dad told him it was someone pure and good, who helps others and brings comfort in times of hurt…someone whose light can illuminate the darkest times. He didn’t know what that meant until he met you. You were an angel. There was so much hurt and darkness in you, but somehow you managed to spread light everywhere you went. No matter how hard life got, you never lost the desire to do good, to be good, and Neteyam didn’t think he could love you any more than he did right at that second. 
You gave him a quick look and he could see the fear in your eyes and the unshed tears, and the trembling hands. You were scared. Before he could move a muscle, Lo’ak took you and encircled his arms around you in a bear hug. You stood there in shock for a second while it registered, then slowly brought your hands up to his back to reciprocate the hug. You closed your eyes and nuzzled your head in his neck, and Neteyam moved his gaze to his feet, feeling the now all-too-familiar darkness of jealousy spread through him like poisonous gas. 
Eventually, Lo’ak let you go, and you moved closer to Jake. You were trying to meet his eyes, but he could tell you were scared… or ashamed. He saw you take a big breath and swallow audibly. 
“Jake, I am…”
“I know, Kid.” Neteyam was surprised to see his dad’s gaze, so angry and unflinching just 30 minutes ago, soften when his eyes looked at you. It was his turn now to hug you.
“You did good, kid.” 
You let out a soft cry and he saw the tears fall freely from your face. You smiled, and for the first time since you were back in his life, saw that you looked actually content. 
“Come.” Jake released you from the hug and made his way towards his tent. You followed suit and saw him picking up a gun from the floor and pointing at another. It was a standard assault rifle and you kneeled down next to it.
“Put it back together.” You did as you were told, skilfully putting each component of the weapon in its place. Before you moved on, you made sure everything was in order, and then you picked the appropriate 6.2x35mm 80-round magazine from the mix that was on the floor. You attached the magazine and took two more of them and placed them on your person. 
“Good. Let’s go.”
You and the three Sullys walked steadily for a while. Lo’ak and Jake went ahead while you and Neteyam stood back. He was close to you, too close, and you felt his right hand almost brushing yours. You looked up at him, and saw he was already watching you. His expression instantly sent shivers down your spine - it reminded you of how he used to look at you before. It was intense and soft and loving. You saw his eyes dropping to your lips, which parted in response and felt so exposed, so vulnerable… so fucking mad. He did not get to do this. He did not get to give up on you are like were a bad drug and then come back and give you this look. 
You expression hardened and you removed your eyes from his and stared at Jake’s back, which was all of a sudden a lot more interesting than it had been 5 seconds ago. You crossed your arms over your chest and walked in silence the rest of the way. 
You reached the spot soon after, and you noticed it was a similar training area, like the archery one, but this one had targets made of shrubbery that resembled a person, which had remnants of bullet holes in them. I see…
“Ok, kid, let’s see what you can do. Shoot the target in front of you, head and chest.” 
You took a big gulp and positioned your body. This was a lot of pressure, with the eyes of Toruk Makto and his heirs staring right at you. You took one last look at the weapon, then loaded it. You aim, then shoot. The gun surprises you a little, as you find the recoil a lot stronger than the handgun you usually practice on and the fire rate unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. Still, you adjust fairly quickly, then try again. Within 3 tries, you were able to hit the target exactly where Jake asked you to, and as to not waste any more ammo, you stop. 
Lo’ak is ululating and clapping, so happy for you, even though he was probably going to get in trouble for not being a better shooter than a girl who spent her whole life in a lab. He didn’t care. He loved seeing you do well, seeing you adapt. He couldn’t wait for the day you two would go on Ikran rides together and he could show you all the beauty of this world, the way you deserved.  
“I see. Neteyam, from now on, I want you both at gun practice and lessons, do you copy? She can learn everything else in the spare time, but I want her there. She’s way too good to waste on Pa’li training.”
“Yes, sir.” 
In the evening, you went by Ewoaì’s tent and checked on his younger brother. His airways were clear again so you were able to remove the syringe and stitch up the tracheotomy incision you performed earlier. You sat with them whilst inspecting the child’s condition. He wasn’t well. He had a fever and intermittent shortness-of-breath. His abdomen was in pain and he had a laceration forming on one of his calves. You made a note to bring some more supplies from the lab, and with that, took your leave. 
Dinner was pleasant, you ate with the Sullys in their tent, as you do most nights these days, and enjoyed the conversation that did not include you. It was nice to just be around their family and experiencing their tight-knit unit up close. There was laughter, and bickering, and animated discussions about what went on and what’s to come. Jake told Neytiri, Moat, Kiri and Tuk about Ewoaì and his brother, about the guns and the target practice, and they all looked at you with admiration. You blushed and thanked them, deciding the floor was particularly interesting tonight. 
“I think Y/N should sing for us! I haven’t heard her beautiful voice in such a long time!” Said Neytiri, smiling fondly
“Oh, I don’t have my guitar!”
You saw Neteyam’s eyes go wide, a rare sight for a man who prides himself on his composure. He stood up from his place around the fire pit, and went to a part of the tent that had a hidden nook in it; you’ve never seen what was there, but assumed there lay the family trinkets, Jake’s guns, clothes, etc. Neteyam came out from behind it holding… a guitar, you realised in shock. A big guitar, that would fit your new hands perfectly. Too stunned to speak, you just looked at him with your mouth agape, and he laughed at your expression. 
“This was supposed to go slightly differently, but alas, it’s as good a time as any to give this to you.” 
“It was supposed to be done for your birthday, but it took me a lot longer than I thought carving the wood.” 
Your eyes flickered between him and the guitar, and then turned to look at Kiri, who had a big smile and waited expectantly for your response.
“…you made this?”
“Well, me and Norm.” He looked almost bashful, and he reminded you so much of young Neteyam that your heart ached and you hoped you could prolong this moment forever. 
“He helped me with the design and the metal work, I had to hunt a few good animals to get the gut for the strings, but I think it turned out alright! He tried it and tuned it and it seemed to sound good, but I guess we’ll see when you play it.” 
You were still unsure what to say, unsure how to speak or form words or thoughts. 
“Neteyam, I don’t know what to say…”
“Say you’ll accept it? And that you’ll forgive me for what I said on your birthday? I really am a kurkung (asshole) sometimes, and I am sorry.” 
You nodded almost imperceptibly. His face broke out into a smile, a stupidly handsome smile that stopped your world and shifted it on its axis and you knew, you knew he was doing it, the impossible, he was getting you to forgive him, to forget the hurt and pain he put you through. And you hated yourself for being weak, but you also just allowed yourself a second, just a second to remember what it was like to have him in your life, have him radiate his warmth like he was the sun your soul orbited around.
“Will you sing now?” asked Tuk innocently, and you had to concede.
You toiled for a while with ideas of what song to pick. There was only one that came to mind in this exact moment, thinking of the man you still loved so much, loved as much as you did when you were 10 and he brought you the bracelet, at 13 when he took you on your very own magic carpet ride, at 16 when he held you while you cried in his arms after your dad, and every day in between, the man you needed like air, like that damn oxygen pack you hated, whose touch made you come alive and set your mind ablaze. 
You picked up the guitar and tuned the chords, slowly caressing them to get the sound just right. It was perfect, much better than the guitar you had at home. It was perfect. You started strumming a familiar song, that you never sang to them, to him, before, that you sang to yourself in that year apart and you wanted him to hear it, wanted him to know.
I have this dream you're doing cool shit
Having adventures on your own
You meet some woman on the internet and take her home
We never painted by the numbers, baby
But we were making it count
You know the greatest loves of all time are over now
You looked at him, and sang to him. He looked sad, like it was hurting him to watch you, hear you again. You used to play just for him all the time, singing feelings you never had the guts to say out loud, and here you were again, confessing something probably better left unsaid.
We were something, don't you think so?
Rosé flowing with your chosen family
And it would've been sweet
If it could've been me
In my defence, I have none
For digging up the grave another time
But it would've been fun
If you would've been the one
You finished the song and heard clapping from all around you and knew you had to acknowledge the others eventually. With a last look at Neteyam, you turned around and smiled and did a little hand curtsy as a joke. 
It was a good night.
You made your way to your tent quite late that night and you saw Lo’ak waving at you until you entered, placing your new guitar slowly on the ground. You lay down and tried your very best to fall asleep, which you felt was impossible, considering you were still reeling after the day you had. Eventually, sleep came, and you woke up back in the linkpod, with Norm’s face coming into focus slowly.
“Hey, Ace. How was your day?”
“Eventful, to say the least. One of the kids in the village needed an emergency tracheotomy. Thank God I had some supplies in the tent, which reminds me - I need to prepare more that I will come to pick up tomorrow, or you can drop to my tent if you make your way to the village.”
“Jesus. What the hell happened?”
“I think it’s this damn virus, Norm. I monitored the kid for an hour in the evening, his airways cleared, but he still had shortness of breath, a fever, gastrointestinal symptoms, and this weird laceration on his calf. His brother’s not sick, so the virus is not transmitted through air - at least I hope not, considering I shared the air in the tent with the guy for a while.” 
“Fuck. I will go check on him tomorrow and maybe take some blood. You can run some tests if you want to and have the time.” 
“I have some blood from someone else with similar symptoms. I will run the tests tonight, can’t really sleep anyway.”
“Ok, be careful, alright? This is not a joking matter, especially to us.” 
“Aye aye, Captain.”
You changed in some clothes better suited for a night working in the lab, put on your goggles, lab coat and gloves, and got to work. You were half paying attention to prepping the laminar flow hood and half thinking of the crazy day you had, thinking of Neteyam and his smile and his apology and ugh, you hated him. 
You didn’t realise you forgot to put a mask on in your distracted state, and with the hood prepped and ready to go, you removed the blood from the fridge where you kept it while everything you ready and made your way to your work station.
In a second, everything changed. That’s all it took, a second for your whole life to completely turn upside down, yet again. It always only took a second. A second for your mum to take her last breath, a second for you to fall off an Ikran, a second to step on your dad’s remains, a second to lose the love of your life, a second to watch the vial drop and shatter all over the floor, splattering blood all over your body and on your face, in your open mouth that screamed in shock at the instant loss of a future. 
Tag list: @nuhteyam @eywas-heir @fanboyluvr @mashiromochi
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